


Time

by ALCzysz17



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark Jon Snow, Drunken sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Jon and the Starks Are Not Related, Jon is a foster brother, Loss of Virginity, Major Character Death but does not last, Multiple Pov, One-sided Sansa/Joffrey, Recreational Drug Use, Sansa-centric, Temporary Character Death, Unplanned Pregnancy, jonsa, secret relationship trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-04-29 10:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14470734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALCzysz17/pseuds/ALCzysz17
Summary: He had just been the 'foster kid' her parents took in. Jon Snow was never going to be a brother to her, ever. In hindsight Sansa should have realized something would happen down along the line. Feelings blur and things happen when alcohol and drugs are involved. Now she's not sure if what she feels is love or she just craves the feelings he stirs inside her. She thought she had all the time in the world, yet she found that wasn't case. In the end she was careless and in the end he was careless. She ends up pregnant and he ends up dead.It doesn't matter though because Sansa will do anything to bring him back, even if he's not who he use to be...





	1. Sansa

**Author's Note:**

> So currently I should be studying for the five exams that start next week, but I wanted to finish this first chapter and post it because I crave validation apparently. 
> 
> This is supposed to be a oneshot, but there was so much more going for it and I wanted to flesh it out more. I have the basic premise and plot of how the whole story goes, but that's about it. My last modern setting AU wasn't so well received so I hoping that won't be the case for this story. Currently I have like 13 other ideas (various oneshots and chapter stories) demanding for my time and it's hell trying to beat them back until I finish the term. So expect a bunch of stuff to be coming, but in the mean time please enjoy this first chapter!

 

 

“I want him back.”

“He will not be the same…”

“I don’t care! I want him back!”

“Dear child, you do not know of what you ask me.”

“I came to you for a goddamn reason! Either you do as I’ve paid you for, or you can give me back my money. Bring. Him. Back.”

“You will regret this decision, mark my words…”

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Sansa only ever regretted one thing in her life; one thing, and that was taking time for granted. The time she wasted on never realizing how much she loved him until he was already gone.

Until Jon Snow was already gone…

She was never close to him growing up, always kept her distance even though her siblings regarded him as a brother. “Brother from another mother,” Robb would jokingly say, claiming Jon as his twin though they looked nothing alike. Arya looked much more like him than the rest of them with her dark hair and grey eyes that matched Jon’s to a ‘T’. Her mother would comment that he must have some Stark in him, either from the mysteriously missing mother, or the never heard of father.

Her father, Eddard Stark took Jon in, the Starks becoming his foster family from the time he was ten and onward. Sansa never knew what to think of him, she always told her friends that he was just the ‘foster kid’ her family took in, or if she was feeling particularly cruel, took pity on. She was only seven when he entered her family, by then she had Robb, Arya and Bran with Rickon being only a twinkle in her parent’s eyes. In her mind she had enough siblings, she did not need anymore.

It was this mindset that kept her from having familial relations with Jon, kept her from seeing him as a brother (though he was never adopted) unlike her siblings. Her distance towards him didn’t foster familial feelings, but it did foster a physical attraction.

Sansa was fourteen years old when she realized how good-looking Jon Snow really was. It was like an epiphany of sorts, she was on the phone talking to Jeyne Poole about her lousy day in debate class when she suddenly paused, and her mind went blank. Her doorway stood across the stairway on one end of the enclosed railing while Jon’s happened to be on the exact opposite side. His door was open, and he had just pulled his shirt off his body. Sansa kept the phone held to her ear, hearing Jeyne asking her about what happened next, but for the life of her she couldn’t bring forth an idea as to what her best friend was talking about.

Her eyes were firmly focused on Jon. He was leaner than her brother, lanky appearing as a boy, but now there was muscle underneath his skin, filling out in all the right places. She could even see a bit of definition around his abdomen area. Sansa swallowed thickly, her face burned into a blush and her mouth was suddenly dry. When had Jon changed? The thought bounced around her mind as her eyes followed the lines of his body down into his low hanging jeans.

Jon looked up at her, face scrunched in confusion then he was abruptly shutting his door. Sansa echoed his movement, slamming her door shut to lean heavily against the wood as her heart pounded rapidly inside her chest. Embarrassment now enflamed her face as well as mortification as she realized she had been checking her ‘foster brother’ out.

For weeks she couldn’t look Jon squarely in the face without a flush coming on and he seemed to feel much the same way, avoiding her whenever he could and keeping his eyes down whenever he couldn’t. Sansa did her best to appear unaffected by the whole thing, but when her friends and family commented upon her weirdness, she realized it wasn’t working.

Still time had a way of making one forget, or at least move on and before she knew it the incident was behind her. Sansa moved on, and for a short time it was all forgotten…

Time also had a way of throwing forgotten things back into ones face abruptly, surprisingly and harshly.

Sansa’s sixteenth birthday was around the corner and she only wanted one thing from her brother Robb.

“Please, please! It’s the only thing I want!” Sansa begged, stopping Robb from continuing down the hall as she fluttered her long lashes, watered her blue eyes and gave him a quivering lip.

“No Sansa! I will not take you to this college party!” Robb grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her to the side so he could make his way past her. Sansa would not be deterred though.

“I don’t ask for much, please Robb! Take me with you.”

Sansa caught his door before he could shut it in her face, weaseling her way between the frame and the door so he couldn’t shut it without closing her in. She could tell he was frustrated with her, what with the way his brows furrowed downward and his lips pressed tightly together as he glared.

“There’s going to be drinking and you’re not of age,” he commented, and she rolled her eyes.

“You’re only nineteen, not of age either!” she stated with a jut of her chin. Robb opened his mouth to further argue with her when another voice piped up.

“Just let her go Robb, I’ll keep an eye on her.” Sansa turned her head to look out into the hallway where Jon stood by his door, looking over her head at Robb with barely a downward glance at her.

“You want to play babysitter?” her brother enquired astonishingly, she could imagine his right eyebrow cocked up. “I thought you were going because of Ygritte?”

Sansa watched as Jon’s face flushed for a moment then he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “I can still talk with her and keep an eye on Sansa.”

“I’m not a child,” she stated with a stomp of her foot, finally bringing his full-on gaze upon her. For some reason she was annoyed by the fact that Jon wanted to go for some girl.

“Right, doesn’t mean I won’t be watching over you.”

“Fine, it’s your shitshow,” Robb mumbled, giving Sansa a shove so he could shut his door. She sent a glare from over her shoulder at the door then turned back to direct that same glare at Jon.

“I don’t need you watching over me,” she insisted while crossing her arms.

“Humor me then,” he voiced blankly before walking back into his room.

Sansa was irked that she would be watched over by Jon, but once she got over that small fact her heart soared as she remembered exactly who’s college party she would be going to. She spent the rest of the afternoon prepping herself with a nice long shower, shaving her legs and curling her long hair before deciding on a beautiful plum colored dress with thick straps that covered her shoulders but kept her collarbone free. The bodice was heart shaped to give a glimpse into her cleavage while a built-in pushup gave the notion of her breasts being bigger than they actually were then the dress flowed into a rippled skirt that came to her knees. She paired them off with some black strappy heels that gave her a little height without overexaggerating it.

Finally, she applied her makeup, going with a simple light smoky eye with grey eyeshadow and thick black eyeliner wings along with black mascara then red lipstick to finish the look. She sent a quick picture to Jeyne who approved with many ‘heart eye’ emoticons. Sansa felt beautiful and she couldn’t wait to go to the party.

It was being held at the Baratheon mansion. Really it was Renly Baratheon’s party, but Sansa knew that Joffrey would be there since it was his home and his uncle throwing it. She knew there would be only a few high schoolers attending, anyone who was someone at their high school would be there and Sansa intended to be one of them. It was unfortunate that she would be attending with her brother Robb and Jon, but those were only minor details and hopefully no one would notice once she ditched her chaperone.

Robb frowned upon seeing her though he commented she looked nice. It was Jon’s reaction that held her attention though. He was looking down at his phone, flicking his thumb to indicate he was looking through feed of an app when he looked up upon hearing Robb’s comment. His jaw dropped open and he suddenly fumbled with his phone, dropping it to the floor right at her feet.

“How do I look Jon?” Sansa asked brightly, pursing her lips to keep from smiling as she bent down to pick up his phone.

“You-You look nice? Yes, you look nice!” Jon stuttered, pushing back his curly hair before taking his phone from her hand with a mumbled word of thanks.

“I don’t want to look nice, I want to look stunning, amazing-Beautiful.” Sansa felt her own mouth open as Jon voiced the last word, his grey eyes slowly taking her in before settling on her eyes.

“You look beautiful,” Jon said softly. Her breath hitched at his words, her cheeks warmed into a blush and it was she who drew her eyes downward shyly.

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go before Theon leaves us,” Robb shouted at the hall closet by the door, he tossed both Jon and Sansa their coats before leading them out to where Theon and his old, beat up car was parked at the curb.  

It was awkward in the backseat with Jon. For a reason that was beyond her, Sansa wanted to stare at him, but instead kept her eyes staring out the window. She fiddled with the wraparound on her clutch idly. His reaction towards her appearance pleased her and that bothered her. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye to see Jon leaning against the door with his chin propped in his hand.

Jon was dressed in dark blue jeans with a black button down and leather jacket. His facial hair was shaved lightly around his lips and his curly hair brushed back over his left eye while curls came down around his right. Sansa felt her heart start to race and a strange warm feeling curling in her stomach. Quickly she turned her gaze away from him and back out the window. Curious.

By the time they got to the mansion, the party was in full swing. There were cars everywhere around, littering the curb and some even parked in the yard. Robert Baratheon was probably going to have a fit when he saw that, Sansa mused as she stepped out of the car.

“Sansa, I must say you look quite delicious tonight,” Theon noted with a cocky grin while he eyed her up and down.

“Watch it asshole, that’s my sister,” Robb called out, cuffing Theon on the back of his head with a warning glare. Theon laughed him off though as they walked up the steps towards the main doors.

“Do you know anyone here?” Jon asked as the door opened with blaring music and moving bodies. “Sansa.”

“You said, ‘humor me’ and sorry to say, but I don’t intend to.” Sansa gave him a wink then quickly rushed towards the right as Theon and Robb went left and effectively lost her chaperone instantly.

The loud thump of the music vibrated through her body and the heat enclosed around her like a warm hug. Sansa felt instantly invigorated by the sights and sounds as she moved through the crowds. She accepted a drink from what looked to be a butler with a tray of shots, she took two and threw one back, finding the warm burning sensation going down her throat soothing.

It didn’t take her long to find Joffrey and his friends. They were piled on a couch, cups of beer on the coffee table and empty shot glasses surrounded them. Sansa caught his eye and smiled as he smirked while looking her up and down. Her heart raced at the gesture as he waved her over, patting a spot by his side.

“I didn’t think you would make it,” Joffrey stated into her ear to be heard over the music.

“I convinced my brother,” she said back, blushing when his arm came around her shoulders to pull her into him.

From there she chatted happily with Joffrey and his friends, laughing at raunchy jokes and blushing as his hand travelled down from her shoulders to around her waist. She downed a few more shots by the insistence of him and his friends. Sansa wanted Joffrey to like her and she wanted to prove herself to his friends that she was worthy to be his girlfriend especially so when Margaery Tyrell appeared to join them.

She looked gorgeous with her curly brown hair pulled half up and tightfitting dress that showed much more cleavage than Sansa’s and had a revealing slit up her thigh. She practically went shot for shot with her, finding the burn of alcohol wasn’t as bad the more she took in.

Suddenly there was a rolled-up paper placed in front of her from Joffrey. She took it from him, eyeing it over as she realized it was weed. Sansa didn’t particularly want to smoke it, she’d never had before, but when she watched Margaery smoke her joint, letting out a puff afterwards she couldn’t help but compete with her. She took a puff from her joint, holding the smoke in her lungs for a second or two before coughing it out ungracefully.

Joffrey and his friends laughed at her reaction as Sansa was instantly embarrassed. Quickly she made the excuse that she needed to go to the restroom before bolting from the couch. She glanced back briefly to see Margaery moving from her spot to sit next to Joffrey, his arm going around her shoulder as he had done to Sansa.

Her eyes watered at the sight. Quickly she found a bathroom, unfortunately there was a long line of people waiting to use it. Sansa discreetly dotted her eyes with a tissue from her clutch as she waited. She felt stupid, of course he wouldn’t like her like Margaery. She was older and far more beautiful than Sansa ever would be, and she clearly was cooler and more adapted to drinking and smoking as well. She had such a long-standing crush on the blond-haired teen, always hoping that he’d ask her out in the courtyard before class or after their biology class, but he always smirked at her and left.

Maybe she was being delusional? Sansa dabbed at her eyes again as she got closer and closer to her turn in the restroom. She jumped when a hand gripped her shoulder, drawing her back until she was met with angry grey eyes.

“What the hell Sansa!?” Jon practically growled in anger. “If you wanted to sit with that jerk, and drink and smoke weed then at least tell me where instead of me finding you there.”

“You’re not my brother Jon!” Sansa yelled back, shoving his hand off her shoulder before moving to duck into the freed bathroom. She managed to shut the door in his face and lock it. She expected pounding like Robb would, but there was nothing except for the vibration of the bass of the stereo echoing around her.

She took five minutes to situate herself, fixing her eyeliner and reapplying her lipstick as she gave herself a small prep talk. Sansa Stark wasn’t a coward and she wouldn’t admit defeat so easily, she would just have to step up her game was all. She tussled her hair around and tucked her hand down her bodice to lift her breasts up more and give off more cleavage. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, Sansa gave a smile at her reflection in the mirror then left the bathroom behind.

As she made her way back to Joffrey and his friends, she spotted Jon leaning against a wall with a beer bottle in one hand while he supported his weight by his other arm against the wall with a red-haired woman talking closely with him. Sansa stopped abruptly to take in the scene before her. The woman was smiling broadly, gazing into his eyes as Jon seemed to be quite taken with her as well. There was an intimacy between them from how closely she stood, and how he leaned over her, sort of locking her between him and the wall.

Sansa felt an ache inside her chest and an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Another butler with a tray of shots came near her. She halted him to grab a shot and down it quickly for liquid courage then walked past Jon and ‘Ygritte’ (she assumed that was the girl he wanted to spend time with at the party) back towards Joffrey and his crew.

With the alcohol fueling her courage, Sansa came around the couch and ceremoniously sat herself in Joffrey’s lap, taking the joint from his slack fingers so she could take a hit off it. The second time around she didn’t choke, but only just barely. Margaery watched her with approving eyes as Joffrey tugged her firmly into his chest as she took another hit.

The time started to whittle away as she enjoyed drinking and smoking with Joffrey and his friends. She even found some common ground with Margaery, talking with her about fashion and gaining a compliment for her dress from the older girl. Sansa didn’t even mind Joffrey’s hand slowly sliding up her thigh though he had a tight grip, one that almost made her flinch.

The need to pee rose though and she excused herself once more, giving Joff a peck on the lips, telling him she would be back. Sansa felt giddy, happy and somewhat dazed. She figured the mixture of alcohol and weed was the cause and she kind of liked it.

Unfortunately, there was another line for the bathroom, but she wasn’t bothered. She just bounced around to the music, swaying her head and mouthing along to the lyrics of a song she knew as she waited. She caught a glimpse of Robb making out with a dark-haired woman, Sansa couldn’t make out much more than that. She laughed at them, finding the situation quite funny for some reason.

She peed as quickly as she could, feeling like she was emptying a river from all the alcohol she had drunk the last few hours. Sansa quickly checked her appearance over, shrugging at the fuzziness of her vision and the slight stumble of her feet as she left the bathroom. Remembering her brother making out brought up thoughts of making out with Joffrey. She wondered what he would do if she straddled him on the couch and started kissing him? The idea warmed her tummy and she knew she was going to do it.

Then she felt somewhat sick.

Sitting across Joffrey’s lap was Margaery, making out with him just as Sansa thought about doing. Sansa stopped abruptly, watching as her heart started to break inside her chest. Joffrey was palming Marg’s breast while clutching tightly at her hair as she clawed her fingers through his. Her heart dropped into her stomach at the sight as tears welled up in her eyes. The dazed, happy feeling she was reveling in had instantly dissipated, leaving behind immense sorrow.

Sansa quickly turned around to leave the scene, squeezing through pressed bodies as she realized she needed fresh air; immediately. She worked her way through the crowd and finally managed to get outside in the back where the large swimming pool and hot tub was located. There were some people swimming in bathing suits, others in their underwear and two girls with Theon skinny dipping without a care in the world. Sansa averted her eyes quickly, gripping the railing of the back porch as she made her unsteady way down to the grass.

It was slightly windy outside, cooling the heat in her cheeks and the pathway of where her tears had fallen. Sansa wiped at her cheeks, at least she remembered to use the waterproof mascara and eyeliner. As she let her eyes roam the grounds and tried to compose herself she found Jon leaning against a tree further away. She could make out a red glow at his face and instantly knew he was smoking a cigarette. A habit he hid well from her parents and younger siblings, but Robb knew about it and Sansa had witnessed him smoking when they were in school together.

Strangely anger replaced the sorrow she was feeling as she took him in. She didn’t know if she was angry at herself for liking Joffrey, or if she was angry with Jon trying to act like her brother, or if she was angry at him for talking to that Ygritte chick. Sansa figured it didn’t matter either way, she was angry, and it was directed at Jon now.

“I hope you’re happy!” Sansa barked as she approached him. Jon puffed out some smoke with a raised eyebrow as he turned his gaze to her.

“What?” he asked in confusion. Sansa felt annoyed at his confounded expression, she came to a halt with barely a foot between them.

“I said I hope you are happy now! My night is ruined!” Jon sighed at her, shaking his head at her dramatics. It only fueled her unjustified anger. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Jon Snow!”

“Sansa calm down, you’re drunk and high,” Jon commented evenly, taking another drag from his cigarette. She dug her nails into her palms as she fisted her hands in anger. Taking him in again, she noticed that his cheeks were slightly red, and his eyes were glossy looking.

“You’re drunk too,” she accused, crossing her arms over her chest with her hands still balled into fists. Jon choose to ignore her accusation, instead he asked, “how is your night ruined?”

“I was supposed to be making out with Joffrey right now, but that slut Margaery Tyrell did it first. Now he’ll never like me!” Sansa exploded as tears welled up in her eyes at the thought. This time Jon really did roll his eyes.

“Why do you care if Joffrey Baratheon likes you?” he inquired with the most disdainful tones she had ever heard from him. Jon didn’t normally show his dislike of people, but clearly being inebriated made him hold his tongue less.

“Because I like him, Einstein! Now he’ll date Margaery instead and they’ll probably have sex and fall in love and marry!” Sansa could see it all now, the little fantasy she had of being Joffrey’s girlfriend then fiancé then wife disappeared the moment she found them. Her dreams were shattered now! Vaguely she knew being drunk and high was making her a bit melodramatic, but that didn’t change how she was feeling about the whole situation now.

“That little shit will only date her until he gets her into bed then he’ll dump her, do you really want that, Sansa?” Jon grumbled as he tapped the burned-out end of his cigarette then took another drag.

“How would you know that?” Sansa questioned as she looked him up and down. Jon snorted at the look.

“It’s what all sixteen-year-old shits like him do, they think with their dicks, sweetheart.” He sounded condescending until he called her ‘sweetheart’, the term of endearment sounded softer to her ears. She looked at him to see his warm gaze on her, face softening. Sansa felt her heart beat faster, a sudden heat swirling in her stomach at his gaze.

The alcohol in her system gave her the courage to step forward to him, invading Jon’s space as she kept her eyes trained on his. Jon moved his cigarette away from her, arching a brow though he did nothing to stop her as she placed a hand on his chest.

“Is that what you do, Jon? Think with your dick?” Sansa asked softly, biting her bottom lip as her hand started to trail downward, bumping down the buttons of his shirt before she cupped the front of his jeans where it was stiff. She was shocked to have done the act and even more so at the feel of him harden within his jeans. Jon hissed at her touch, moving to push her hand away.

“Sansa stop, you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re drunk,” Jon stated with a deepen voice. Sansa merely rolled her eyes, intertwining her fingers with the hand that pushed hers away. She tightened her grip on his hand as she leaned further into him, pressing her breasts into his chest. She heard and felt his breath hitch as she gazed up to him.

“I know I wanted to make out with Joffrey, but he didn’t with me,” Sansa started, reaching up with her free hand to brush back his curls from his forehead. She had no idea where this bravery was coming from, nor the sudden attraction she felt for Jon. She knew there was a time, a few years ago that she realized how attractive he was, but he was loss in time, practically forgotten; until now. Sansa leaned up on her toes to whisper into his ear, “I was even hoping he’d think with his dick with me. Would you do that, Jon? Would you think with your dick with me?”

“Fuck,” Jon cursed darkly.

Suddenly she was flipped around, her back pressed tightly against the tree Jon had been leaning against with him caging her to it. He couldn’t really tower over her with her heels and their similar heights, but it was still imposing. Before she could change her mind, or him change his, she reached up to grip his curly hair and drag his lips to hers. The kiss was heated, wet and crushing as Sansa angled her head to endure his bruising kiss.

Jon dropped his hands to her hips, keeping her pressed into the tree and his body. It felt amazing, every touch, every brush and every press of his lips to hers was a sweet torture that made her crave for more. Sansa opened her mouth under his, brushing her tongue to his bottom lip before he responded by plunging his tongue into her mouth. His hands moved down to grip her bottom, squeezing and kneading the soft muscle as they kissed. She could feel his stiffen cock pressing through his jeans to her abdomen insistently. Her cunt seemed to throb for attention, pulsing and warming between her thighs, surely her underwear was probably soaked by now.

Sansa wondered if Jon had ever thought of doing this with her, wondered if the idea had ever crossed his mind before now? She knew she hadn’t thought it out much beyond that day, but then she was so embarrassed to be checking out her foster brother that she pushed out of her mind as much as she could. Now she felt silly for doing such a thing, he was a far better kisser than any boy she had kissed before. Jon’s tongue teasingly tangled with hers, brushing and tasting her mouth.

He managed to pull his mouth from hers, pressing it into her ear where he asked her, “do you want me to think with my dick?”

She knew the question should give her pause to her actions, to really think through what they were doing, but her mind felt muddled and all she wanted was the pleasurable heat swirling in her belly and between her legs to continue. Sansa nodded her head, moaning when he bit her ear lobe and sucked.

There was a struggle between them. Jon tugging up her dress while she fumbled with his jeans. She forced the button to give with a tug then pushed down his zipper as quickly as she could. Sansa stopped at his boxers, dropping her face into his neck and shoulder to cry out as his finger pressed and rubbed her clit. It felt so different than when she touched herself, his finger was larger and the skin tougher than her small, soft fingers. Jon mumbled words of praise for how wet she was, how responsive she was to his touch. She whined into his skin, rolling her hips forward to his touch.

“Are you gonna cum for me, Sansa?” Jon asked gruffly, pressing two fingers to her clit and rubbing aggressively as she rutted against him. She groaned at the building pressure inside her abdomen, clamping her teeth into his skin as she neared her climax. Jon moaned as she bit him, rubbing even faster.

Sansa tensed up before she felt the burst of an orgasm rock through her body, normally she’d stop after, but Jon kept rubbing, prolonging the pleasure that singed through her veins. She moaned and cried at his touch, clinging to him as he slowed his touch until he stopped. They were both breathing harshly. Sansa felt weakened and loose, allowing Jon to take her weight so easily as he pressed her into the tree.

He fumbled with his boxers then she felt the blunted head of his cock pressing into her cunt’s entrance, forcing the folds aside. Sansa winced at the stretch, whimpering at the sting of pain as he pushed into her body. She knew it would hurt the first time, but she didn’t think it would be like this. Jon moved forward until the wiry curls of his pubic hair pressed into hers, locking his cock inside her body. It stung and throbbed, Sansa felt stretched thin.

Jon pulled back to look at her face, he was smiling but it instantly dropped at her pained expression. It didn’t take him long to realize what happened. “Fuck, shit Sansa why didn’t you tell me you never had sex?!” Jon cursed some more. He moved, and Sansa quickly locked her ankles together behind his back.

“Don’t,” she mumbled, keeping him stuck inside her. The slight movement sent a pang of pain through her cunt.

“Shit, I am so sorry, Sansa,” Jon apologized, pushing back her hair to cup her cheek as his other hand held her up and around his hips.

“Don’t,” she repeated, forcing her muscles to relax in hopes that the pain would alleviate.

Jon stayed quiet as she let her body adjust to the intrusion of his. Jeyne had always told her it was nice, that sure it hurt the first time, but it went away fast. Her best friend had barely felt anything though, Sansa felt like she was stabbed through by a knife. Maybe she wasn’t drunk or high enough for it not to affect her?

Maybe she should soldier through?

“Move please,” Sansa said quietly, pressing her fingers into his shoulders to keep steady.

At first, he barely moved an inch, watching her facial expressions sternly. Sansa tried schooling her face to avoid showing him any pain, but that was easier said than done. He pulled back a few inches, barely leaving her snug hold on his member before he was pushing forward again. It still stung, but it was fading somewhat. She forced a moan to encourage him to continue. Jon lifted her face towards his where he pressed his lips to hers.

His thrusting increased as they kissed, the pain numbing to a slight pleasant feeling. Sansa figured she probably wouldn’t feel anything too nice until maybe the second or third time she had sex though she had no idea when that would ever be. Jon groaned into her mouth, thrusting faster and faster as he found his pleasure. His grunts and moans turned her on, his hand squeezing the bared flesh of her bottom helped as well.

Suddenly she wanted his lips on her breast, wanted his mouth suckling at her nipple. She pulled at her thick strap, tugging it down until she could pull her arm free of it then tugged the stiff heart shaped front. Sansa managed to pull her breast out, her nipple peaking over the fabric then she was tugging at Jon’s hair to direct him to it. A moan broke out of her throat when his mouth enclosed her nipple, surrounding the slowly stiffening peak in wet heat. He sucked deeply, lashing his tongue to her bud, all while pumping his hips and cock into her.

Sansa clutched at the back of his shoulders, using her grip to meet her hips to his. It wasn’t as painful as it had been, the pleasure was overriding any discomfort she felt before. Jon kept his mouth suction cupped to her breast, she could already feel a hicky forming around her nipple. Abruptly Jon released her nipple with a pop then pulled out of her. His cock kissed her clit then he peaked, soaking her clit and folds with his cum.

She felt the heated wetness of his climax though her eyes were centered on his face where she watched the display of pleasure. Once he pulled back his cock, her underwear went slightly back into place, holding his cum against her. Jon cursed softly, a groan mixed in with it. When his eyes opened, he gazed at her for a moment then he averted his eyes. Her legs unlocked, and he helped her find her grounding before stepping away from her.

Guilt. She could see it written so clearly on his face. Sansa opened her mouth to say something, to say anything to get rid of the guilty look on his face, but nothing came out. Her words were lodged deeply in her throat. Jon righted himself then he was righting her, pulling her top over her exposed breast and pulling her dress over her bottom.

“I’m sorry,” Jon mumbled, running his hand through his hair then he turned and walked quickly away. Sansa felt her throat close up even more as she watched him leave. Her eyes watered, her vision blurring before she slid down to drop her face into her knees.

How did everything get so wrong so quickly?

Sansa didn’t know how long she spent sitting there, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow her when there was a tap on the back of her head. She lifted her wet gaze up to see Theon frowned down at her.

“Time to go, little Stark,” he said with a smile, taking her hand to help her stand. He didn’t ask her what was wrong, Sansa was more than grateful for it. She wasn’t really sure what she would say. He did brush her bare shoulder, reminding her to fix her arm back through the strap.

Theon was an ass a lot of the time, but he had his moments, she supposed.

Robb was sitting in the front passenger seat, eyes closed as he leaned against the window as they got in. Sansa noticed the empty backseat, frowning as Theon started the car up.

“Aren’t we going to wait for Jon?” she asked with a slight croak to her throat. Robb glanced back at her concernedly, but Theon answered her question.

“Said Ygritte would drive him home.”

Sansa immediately frowned at that, turning her gaze outside as the car started to move. He felt so guilty, so he ran to Ygritte? She didn’t know how to feel about that, half of her was pissed and the other was glad there wouldn’t be awkwardness on the drive home.

Robb tried to ask her what happened when they watched Theon drive away, but Sansa shook her head at him, saying she was tired and wanted to sleep. They snuck into the house, parting ways after the stairs to their rooms. Sansa couldn’t help the pause as she glanced at Jon’s door, still open and empty of its occupant.

Everything was starting to blur now, the events fuzzing over and fading into her memory. The cum in her underwear and the blood evidence of her lost virginity spoke the truth though. Sansa balled it and tossed the ruined underwear into the trash. Her mind was growing even more fuzzy, so she forced any and all emotions and feelings from her mind to fall asleep.

She would deal with it in the morning…

 

 

 

 


	2. Sansa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for the comments and kudos! I am so happy that this story is so well liked. I really hadn't meant to write it as a story but a very long oneshot, that being said, I needed to go back and look at the original outline and draw things out more and add more context than I had before. I am very satisfied with this chapter though it was so hard for me to come up with everything after the beginning portion. Also I felt the dialogue was stilted so that needed revising and work.
> 
> I am still working out the kinks and trying to produce a chapter-to-chapter plotline so I know what I am doing, otherwise updating becomes to long in between and sporadic. I hope y'all enjoy this update! ^_~

 

 

 

Sansa’s first realization upon waking was that the sun is awful and should be taken out immediately. Her second realization was that she had a pounding headache within her brain, thumping loudly like a drum solo from her school’s marching band to which she was part of the color guard. She also noticed her mouth felt incredibly dry, like she stuffed it full of cotton balls but upon tracing her tongue around the inside of her mouth she knew otherwise.

Her third and final realization upon waking was the soreness between her thighs, coming from her vagina. Sansa groaned at all three aches, kicking her blanket off her body as she brought a hand down to lightly touch herself between her legs. Her mind was a bit foggy, but she remembered exactly why there was soreness south of her head. She flung her other arm across her eyes as she felt the tender flesh of her cunt, feeling that it was still sticky and wet.

She lounged on her bed for minutes, contemplating everything as she slowly started to wake. Her thoughts ranged from never drinking again to wanting a hot shower to wanting to fill her mouth with cold water and finally to Jon.

Sansa barely remembered everything that happened that lead to her having sex with Jon against a tree of all things. She remembered being angry at him, for what she couldn’t recall though and she remembered being upset at Joffrey as well. In a strange way she thought maybe she wanted to be comforted, to be shown she was attractive and desirable. Her mind kept going back to Jon’s reaction of her appearance before they left for the party. She wanted that from Joffrey, instead she got it from her foster brother.

Groaning she removed her hand from her between her thighs, finally getting up and starting the day. Sansa tossed her dress off her body and grabbing her bathrobe, so she could head over to the bathroom for a shower.

It was quiet in the hall, being Saturday morning, everyone was sleeping in aside from her parents whom she was sure were downstairs drinking coffee and watching tv. Sansa couldn’t stop her eyes from crossing over the stairwell to Jon’s door. It was closed, meaning he was home but when did he arrive was the real question?

There was a strange burning in her gut at the thought of him running into that other girl’s arms after being with her. Was Sansa so distasteful to him? Was he as disgusted with her as he seemed to be with himself? Honestly, she should be the one upset, he took her virginity up against a fucking tree of all things! Instead she wasn’t upset over the way it happened, she was upset at how he left her so quickly like she was the vilest thing he had ever touched. It caused a painful kind of tingle through her fingers and hands, making her clench them tightly around her robe’s sleeves as her eyes watered.

Abruptly she turned away from his door, entering the bathroom so she could take her long, hot shower. The heat helped the pounding in her head and the aches in her body and she felt more human when she came out. No caked makeup from the previous day was left on her face and the scrapes on her back from the tree bark was soothed. Sansa winced at both touching and looking at her right breast where she took in the bruise around her nipple and areola, both darker in comparison to her left breast. Another physical reminder of the sex she had with Jon.

Her eyes closed as a sudden memory of his mouth closed around her breast as he pounded her into the tree. Sansa could still feel the pull of his hot mouth on her harden nipple, feeling the brush of his tongue circling it. She bit her lip as she closed her hand over her bruised breast, wincing at the ache of it. Her eyes were red and glossy, her cheeks highlighted by a deepening blush and her top row of teeth biting into her bottom lip. Sansa could feel a pulse in her cunt as well.

Gods, she wanted him again.

Sansa squeezed her eyes shut tight, wrinkling her nose in mild disgust as her hand moved from her breast down her ribs and belly to brush through the wet curls on her mound. Her other hand gripped the side of the sink to help steady her. She couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop herself from circling her finger around her clit, from rutting her hips against her hand as she remembered the previous night.

Little whimpers escaped her mouth, echoing around the small bathroom. All she could think of was the look on his face as he took her. The way his eyes were so heated and dark, the smell of whiskey and cigarette smoke on his breath; clinging to his skin, and most of all, the way his mouth opened and closed, no sound but his harsh breath coming out. Sansa knew though, she could read the unspoken words coming from his gaping mouth.

It was her name.

Jon was silently moaning her name as his cock branded her within. Sansa whined at the memory, rubbing harder upon her aching clit, pushing closer and closer to peaking. He wanted her and that made him feel guilty. He wanted her, and he got her, and yet he left her behind. Sansa dropped her forehead against the cool mirror as she shook and quivered from her orgasm, fingers still rubbing even though it hurt.

After a while she stopped, opening her eyes to look at her reflection. Her darken blue eyes stared back at her, reflecting both her pleasure and sorrow. She pulled back before she could watch a tear escape her watery eyes.

By the time she got out of the bathroom there was a line formed outside. Rickon was doing the potty dance as he raced inside while Arya glared at her for taking so long in the bathroom. Sansa ignored her when she noticed Jon standing behind her sister, his eyes averted towards the ground. His hair was messy with bedhead and he looked tired with dark smudges underneath his eyes. He looked just as hungover as she felt. Sansa willed him to look into her eyes, but he didn’t, his gaze firmly locked down by their feet.

Look at me, her mind screamed at him. Acknowledge me, she wanted to cry out to him. Please.

Eventually she turned away, walking back to her room where she made sure to slam her door for extra measure even though it made her head throb. She hoped it did the same for him. She got dressed in a soft tank top and pj pants, knowing that she wasn’t going to leave the house today. Her mother had breakfast sitting in the pans on the stove, scrambled eggs, bacon and fried potatoes. The grease helped her headache and so did the medicine she popped with her orange juice.

Robb came down a few minutes later, dropping into the seat across from her and burying his head into his arms. He was hungover as well. Sansa got up and poured him some coffee and a plate of fried potatoes, shoving it to his folded arms. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Who was that girl you made out with?” Sansa asked curiously, deciding that hearing about her brother’s love life could help her not think about what happened, to not think about Jon. Robb dropped his chin into his hand as he mindlessly chewed his food.

“Her name’s Talisa,” he stated, a smile coming to his lips as he thought about her. “We’re going to go on a date tomorrow,” he added thoughtfully.

“That’s pretty fast, didn’t you just meet her?” Sansa was happy for her brother, but it bit at her too. Lingering bitterness kept her from smiling at her brother’s dopey grin as he waved her off.

“I knew of her before the party.”

“Could you have taken any longer, Sansa?! I thought my bladder was going to explode!” Rickon yelled out obnoxiously as he joined them at the kitchen table, snatching a piece of bacon from her plate even though he was heading to the stove anyway. She glared at him as she pulled her plate closer to her. Bran wheeled in after him, commenting, “if you had been thinking straight you could have used my bathroom.”

Bran had a habit (or hobby, depending on who you asked) of climbing while growing up. He was always climbing the big oak trees in their backyard, going higher and higher; he had no fear. Unfortunately, that come to bite him in the butt when some of his friends in the neighborhood dared him to climb up onto the roof of the house. He did it and when the shingles went out from under him, he also went flying to the ground. Bran had been seven years old.

Sansa remembered that day, remembered the screaming of the kids outside and her mother’s screaming for her father. Robb tried to keep her and Arya from seeing, but she still made out the mangled way Bran’s legs were twisted from the fall. He barely survived. They had altered the house for him once he recovered and was allowed home. His new bedroom was added on to the bottom floor near their parents with a private bathroom specially made for him. He never minded when any of them used his bathroom if theirs was occupied.

“I could barely walk into the bathroom! There was no way I would make it to yours!” Rickon explained with his loud mouth causing both Sansa and Robb to groan in unison. Arya came down with wet hair, heading right for the stove to make herself some breakfast.

“Where’s Jon?” Robb asked her. Sansa forced some eggs and bacon into her mouth to keep from frowning. Who cares, she thought darkly.

“Said he wasn’t hungry,” Arya answered, piling up her plate before purposely clattering her plate onto the table by Sansa. They both glared at each other. “That’s for taking an eternity.”

Sansa sighed then stood with her mostly empty plate, she really didn’t want to deal with her siblings right now. She walked towards the backdoor attached to the kitchen, calling out to the dogs out back. All six of the huskies came running, pushing at each other to eat what was left of her breakfast. Lady came up to nuzzle against her, licking her hand. Another plate appeared for the dogs.

“What happened last night?” Robb asked quietly, rubbing Greywind’s head as he ate.

“I got drunk and high, Robb. That’s it.” She really didn’t want to talk about it, she definitely didn’t want to tell her older brother that she had sex with their foster brother. She could only imagine how well that would go down. Robb stood up from his crouch, frowning at her answer. The sun reflected off his hair, giving it a burning, fiery effect.

“You looked upset,” he clarified.

Sansa sighed, letting her shoulders drop before stating, “I caught Joffrey kissing Margaery, I thought he would date me after this party…”

It wasn’t the whole truth, but a partial truth was better than flat out lying, plus she was still hurt over the whole Joffrey thing. Robb rolled his eyes, having a major distaste for Joffrey Baratheon, but he did rub her back comfortingly, “You may not think it now, but you’ll meet someone else.” Someone better, she thought he was thinking silently. Sansa nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders…

\-----------------------------------------------------

She didn’t see Jon for the rest of that day. He only came out for dinner and even then, he wolfed down his food and left just as quickly. Sansa frowned deeply into her meatloaf, pursing her lips together as she watched him leave the table as quickly as he could. Her father watched him leave, clearly as perplexed as everyone else at the table except for her. Sansa quickly finished her meal and excused herself from the table as well.

She was not going to play this game with him.

Her mind brought up the incident a few years ago, how awkward things were between them. Sansa couldn’t go back to that again. It was hard enough the first time around; a second time was inconceivable.

Sansa came to his door, stopping just as she was about to knock. He might not receive her if she announced her presence. Instead she tested the door to find it locked. Pressing her ear against the door told her he had music playing as well. Smirking, she ran back to her room to grab a bobbin pin, having picked the bathroom lock many times when Rickon accidentally kept the lock in place and shut the door after himself. Sansa picked at the lock to Jon’s door, smiling as she heard the familiar click.

She took a moment to breath deeply and prepare herself. Honestly Sansa wasn’t sure what she would say to him. Get over it? Suck it up? If they were going to make it through until him and Robb move out to college then they needed to talk otherwise it was going to be a long few months. Squaring her shoulders, Sansa twisted the doorknob and entered Jon’s room quickly.

Jon was lounging on his bed, phone in hand when he turned to her with wide eyes. A cursory glance around his room showed dirty clothes on the ground, desk littered with papers and books along with his radio that was blaring hard rock and his bed unmade. Typical guy’s room, typical Jon’s room.

“Sansa, what the hell are you doing in here?” Jon asked, confusion wrinkling his forehead as he glanced between her and the door, obviously remembering that he locked it. She held up the bobbin pin as her explanation for that.

“Look, if we want to survive the household for the next few months before you’re off to college then we need to settle the issue between us.” Jon sat up straighter, frowning as Sansa crossed her arms over her chest with an arched brow. “We had sex-Sansa!-and you took my virginity. Shit happens, Jon then we move on with our lives.”

“We didn’t have sex, Sansa!” he exclaimed loudly. “I raped you,” Jon uttered quietly, averting his eyes away from her as the guilt overcame his face. Her heart seemed to stutter and stop at his confession, her jaw dropping as she tried to figure out how he came to think that. She knew he felt guilty, but she assumed it was because he took her virginity, not that he felt he raped her.

Where had he gotten the idea of that? When had she told him ‘no’? Sansa felt a bit dizzy as she brought forth her foggy memories, if anything she encouraged him, bated him to take her. If anyone should feel guilty, it should be her. Silence reign between them as his words left a stillness in the air. Licking her lips. Sansa breathed out slowly then set her jaw firmly.

“Did you hold me down?” she asked pointedly, he glanced up at her then shook his head. “Did you purposely drug me, or get me drunk?” Another ‘no’. “Did you threaten me, slap me, or beat me?”

“No,” Jon said heatedly, glaring up at her as her reasoning came to him.

“Did I say ‘no’?” Jon’s eyes turned sad, dropping from hers as he said, “No, you didn’t, but you should have. I should never have touched you, you’re my foster sister.” The anguish in his features tugged at her heart, the guilty expression on his face last night appeared more heartbreaking in her mind’s eye. He didn’t look at her like she was vile, he felt like he was vile instead.

“You didn’t rape me, Jon. We were both fucked up and if anything, I took advantage of you, I came at you, not the other way around,” she stated softly, moving a step closer to him but she paused and reminded near the door. They weren’t close, never had been and they had already crossed a line. There was no need to breach it any further.

With a tilt of her chin she looked down her nose at him, “So, I need you to act like you have some balls between your legs and man up. It is what it is,” Sansa finished with a shrug. Jon looked like he wanted to protest, but he stopped with his mouth clamped shut.

She was the worse person to argue in this household because Sansa always won in her arguments, one way or another she would win, and Jon knew this.

“So, we’re at an agreement then? What happened at that party, stays at that party?” Sansa asked, waiting for his approval. After a moment of deliberation, he nodded his head. “No more avoiding me or acting weird right?”

“Whatever…”

“Guess that’s as good as I’m going to get from you. Nice talk, Jon,” she said with a half-hearted wave then left his room as quickly as she could.

There was a relative calm she felt as she walked back to her room, a strange wave of nothingness that seemed to consume her. Sansa wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she needed it because it was either this or bursting into random tears for reasons she didn’t know nor understand. Still that didn’t stop the leakage of tears when she tried to sleep that night…

\-----------------------------------------------------

Sansa officially hated school now.

For the past week she had to endure the sights and gossip of Joffrey Baratheon dating Margaery Tyrell. It was the first thing that appeared on her app feeds and it was the first thing she witnessed upon entering school that following Monday after the party. They were the talk of the school and it was rubbing Sansa raw. Star basketball player, Joffrey Baratheon dating head cheerleader, Margaery Tyrell. It was like a bad teen movie come to life.

Wherever she went people were talking about it. For the most part it seemed forgotten that Sansa had even went to the party much less almost hooked up with Joffrey first. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. Joffrey’s friends were known for being bullies at times, especially Meryn Trant. Sansa had witnessed him beating up a kid in a wheel chair because he accidently ran over his foot. Her mother would say, “you are the company that you keep.” Yet Sansa couldn’t see Joffrey doing such a thing, he would never condone such an act.

Still it was best to remind under the radar for the time being.

It still hurt though. It was especially hard when she had to sit through biology class with Joffrey behind her, talking about how great Margaery was, how skilled she was. The quiet chuckling told her he was talking about her sexually. Icy cold shame went down her spine as she thought of Jon, of what they did together, how would Joffrey react if he knew? Sansa shook her head to dislodge the thought.

Jeyne bumped her shoulder into Sansa’s gently, giving her a comforting smile. “Don’t let it get to you, Sansa. There are more boys out there.”

“Yeah, but none are him…” Sansa mumbled sorrowfully, folding her arms to bury her head within them.

She had crushed on Joffrey since middle school, but she was always so shy to speak with him. It was only when she finally got a class with him that she gained the courage to ask him to be her lab partner and he agreed. There was just a confidence to him, it bordered on arrogance, but that only attracted her more when he directed his attention onto her. Sansa had so hoped that party would be her way to being his girlfriend, to having that high school dream of dating the most popular guy in school.

Instead she got pushed aside by Margaery.

Jeyne and she flinched at the loud laughter behind them, some of Joff's friends making vulgar, sexual jokes. She could hear him crackling with the likes of them, enjoying the jokes. It was then a vivid memory came to her mind.

_“That little shit will only date her until he gets her into bed then he’ll dump her, do you really want that, Sansa?”_

Sansa blinked rapidly as she got an invisible whiff of cigarette smoke as she remembered the look Jon gave her that night. The way his brows came down to his dark eyes and the expression on his face like he couldn’t believe she was so upset over losing out on dating someone like Joffrey Baratheon. She had been so out of it that night, so upset and angry and completely fucked up.

_“How would you know that?”_

She remembered asking as she critically eyed him over. For a split second she wondered if he only knew because he had done it himself. Immediately Sansa threw that idea out. She may not be close to Jon, but she knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t that type of person, but then she hadn’t thought he would push her up against a try and have sex with her either. Then again, Sansa hadn’t thought she would allow such a thing to occur and yet she was the one to urge him on.

_“It’s what all sixteen-year-old shits like him do, they think with their dicks, sweetheart.”_

Another joke caused another eruption of chuckles. Jon was right. Of course, he was, she thought as she lifted her chin over her arms thoughtfully. If she had allowed Joffrey to make out with her, allowed him to date her then she would be the butt of his friend’s jokes. It’d probably be worse considering she had no sexual experience beyond what occurred between her and Jon.

“You’re right,” she commented softly, vaguely making out Jeyne smiling encouragingly though Sansa was thinking of Jon. “Let’s get started on that project so we can hit the mall Saturday.”

“Hey Sansa.”

She froze when she heard his voice speak her name. Slowly she turned around in her seat to see Joffrey smiling brazenly at her, his confidence radiating off him.

“Hello Joffrey,” Sansa greeted softly, her heart pounding heavily inside her chest as her cheeks heated up. He was still so handsome, and his voice gave her shivers; it was hard to throw away such a long-standing crush.

“How did you like my Uncle’s party?” he asked as he leaned closer to her over his desk.

“It was great, I really enjoyed myself.” She heard herself utter falsely through her teeth. It had been good up until he stuck his tongue down another girl’s throat.

“Great because my Uncle is throwing another party next Saturday, I was hoping you would be there.” Sansa blinked slowly as she processed his words. The underlying question was ‘why’? He was already dating Margaery, why would he still want her around?

Why was she questioning this?

“I’d love too!” Sansa exclaimed brightly, flushing more from Joffrey’s pleased smile.

It was only after she accepted and turned around to pay attention in class as the teacher came in that she remembered what exactly was on Saturday. Her birthday. Not just her birthday, her sixteenth birthday.

Oh bugger, she thought grimly as Jeyne nudged her with a smile as she started whispering about what Sansa would wear. Clearly her best friend hadn’t thought about the fact that the party happened on her birthday.

Sansa wasn’t so sure she’d be able to go. It was a big occasion, planned out by her parents with family attending at one of her favored restaurants, one that made her favorite cake; lemon cake. For the rest of the class period her mind was lost in thought as she tried to figure out how to do both. Unfortunately, by the time she left for the bus a solution hadn’t come to her…

\-----------------------------------------------------

Sansa waved goodbye to Jeyne as she and Arya got off the bus, her sister walking further ahead of her while kicking a soccer ball. She slowly caught up to her sister, checking through her feeds on her phone while her mind was still reeling from the invitation Joffrey had extended to her. It still puzzled her why he would bother, but she didn’t feel like fixating on that fact when she still had no idea how to go to the party in the first place.

“So, I heard Joffrey’s dating that Marg chick,” Arya said conversationally, her voice lower than normal though she was appearing nonchalant as they walked. Sansa glanced up from her phone to see her sister side-eyeing her.

She and Arya didn’t always get along, there were many times where they could get downright cruel with each other, but that didn’t mean they didn’t love each other. Her mother had commented time and again how she and her sister, Aunt Lysa were much the same growing up. It was always hard to have two teenage daughters with raging hormones running amuck and tensions rising high.

Arya wasn’t very sensitive to Sansa’s feelings at times and she reacted in kind, hurting her sister like no other could. It made it hard for them to communicate to each other well, but they had promised their father after a huge blowout that resulted in both ignoring each other for almost the whole summer last year that they would work on their communication. It wasn’t always a success, but they tried, and they acknowledged that it was needed; it was a start if nothing else.

“It’s already gotten down to the middle school?” Sansa asked. The high school and middle school were right beside each other hence both sister’s riding the bus together. Bran went to a special private school because of his high intelligence and Rickon was still in elementary school.

“Well even if it hadn’t, it’s hard to miss them kissing out on the football field,” Arya commented while making a gaging sound in the back of her throat. After a moment of silence between them she asked, “Are you okay?”

Sansa paused in answering, thinking a bit about the question before nodding with a brief smile, “Yes, actually, I am.”

“Good cause he’s a snobby jerk anyways!”

“Arya!” Her lips puckered into a pout as she glared at Arya.

“What?! It’s true!” Sansa sighed, shaking her head at her sister as they approached the house.

Upon entering they came to witness Robb smiling brightly at Jon who was quite red in the face, glaring back at him. There was tension in the air as she glanced between the two.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Arya questioned as she kicked her soccer ball up into her arms while simultaneously kicking her sneakers off as well. Sansa rolled her eyes as she pulled her slip-ons off, placing them in the shoe rack before grabbing her sister’s to do the same.

If father tripped on them again he was going to have a fit.

“Should I tell them, or should you?” Robb asked Jon, sniggering excitedly. Jon only frowned deeper. “Alright then I will,” Robb turned to them, “Jon’s invited his girlfriend over for dinner.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jon declared moodily, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yet,” Robb added.

“That girl at the party?” Sansa inquired as her stomach suddenly felt pitted and empty. Jon said nothing else as her brother nodded to her question.

“The very one! Redheaded Ygritte, the college sophomore.” Her belly hurt as she tried to catch Jon’s eyes. He refused to look at anyone before turning around to head upstairs while Robb chased after him for more ribbing.

“Well this is going to be an interesting dinner,” Arya remarked almost sinisterly as she headed upstairs to her room.

Sansa stood in the walkway, still trying to comprehend that Jon invited Ygritte from the Baratheon party to dinner tonight. It shouldn’t matter to her, she thought, whatever Jon did was his business. Yet she felt shell-shocked, blinking multiple times as though she could clear away the whole scene from her mind.

Her mother coming in the front door with groceries brought Sansa out of her stupor. “Sansa dear, could you help me with these.”

She left her bookbag by the shoe rack and helped her mother bring in bags of food, listening to her detail what they would be having for dinner that night and telling her about Jon’s ‘friend’ that he invited to dinner. Sansa didn’t really want to hear her mother speculate about Ygritte and how Jon had never invited a girl to the house before.

Jon and her mother had a very complex and complicated relationship together. Catelyn Stark had made it known that Jon was not her child, but she cared for him much like she did for Theon Greyjoy. There were ups and downs between them, but as Jon got older there seemed to be a balance between them. Sansa figured her father had said something to her mother and she and Jon had a long talk with each other. She remembered her Aunt Lysa commenting while consuming too much wine a few Christmases ago that Catelyn was under the impression that Jon was Eddard Stark’s illegitimate son. Believing that was the whole reason they fostered him in the first place.

Sansa wondered if her mother’s standoffishness towards Jon played a role in why she regarded him so distantly as a child?

Whatever they talked about, her father and mother then her and Jon, it seemed to shift things between them for the good. None of her younger siblings seemed to notice the shift, Arya only vaguely while her and Robb wondered what changed. Jon never said anything and neither did their mother.

Catelyn immediately started on dinner as she asked Sansa about school after talk of Jon’s mystery friend subsided. She couldn’t remember what she said if someone had asked her to repeat the conversation, Sansa only knew that she stated that she had homework to start so she could escape her mother and into the sanctuary of her bedroom.

Her homework laid out on her desk, but Sansa couldn’t concentrate. Her thoughts kept going back to Jon and Ygritte. Her mind produced the memory of Jon leaning over a red-haired woman, smaller then him by a few inches. She remembered the woman to be slim build, but she was also wearing a jacket and she couldn’t remember what she looked like. Everything was sort of a blur, even the events leading up to the encounter with Jon was mostly blurred and hazy. There were really only certain moments that were clear.

That conversation about Joffrey, Jon pressing her into the tree and mid-way into the act were the clearest in her mind.

Sansa groaned, dropping her head down on the desk as she tried to push out everything from her mind. She started repeating the words she said to Jon, _‘what happens at the party, stays at the party’_. It was like her personal mantra as she worked on her homework, she had more important things to think about, the incident being the least of her worries.

“What happens at the party, stays at the party.”

Yet that phrase seemed so miniscule in the grand scheme of things…

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we got how Jon felt after the 'incident' and Sansa trying to move on from it as well though that is obviously not working out so well for her. It will only get worse for her from here on out especially with her still slightly crushing on Joffrey and Ygritte coming into the picture. Just a reminder that Sansa is fifteen and immature, it'll show more in the next chapter but she'll get better as the story goes on. I also looked up many websites for an indication of birthdays for the characters.
> 
> The top zodiac signs for Sansa were: Sagittarius and Cancer while Jon was simply: Capricorn. Lol. I read up on it and I kind of agree and tried to portray (trying) those personalities along with what I perceive from the show and books. So if anyone would like to give me their opinion on pinpointing a date for Sansa's birthday (November 22nd - December 21st) and Jon's (December 21st - January 20th) that'd be a great help!
> 
> *fingers crossed* hopefully I'll get chapter 3 done (haven't started yet), also finishing up my other two chapter stories (slow goings). Thank y'all again, I truly appreciate the encouragement! ^_~


	3. Sansa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner with Ygritte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had much of the dialogue written down and worked my way from there. I ended up writing this whole chapter in one sitting and did a once over for errors, so sorry if there are any, I was just so excited at how everything came about! I have also been writing down a chapter by chapter plotline and so far I have gotten up to chapter 13 and that's only hitting close to mid-way of the story as a whole, so this is going to be a rather long one.
> 
> As I work I am trying to work out a whole world concept as you will read in this chapter, furthering along context and all. I am really enjoying this story so far!
> 
> ***Also I am working slowly through the final chapter for 'Traveling the Middle Ground' and I've kind of stalled on the final chapter for 'My Cousin Sansa', I know what I am doing for that chapter, but the motivation to write isn't really there at the moment, sorry. As for other things, I am slowly working up some oneshots for Jonsa (smutty ones too!) that I will hopefully be able to post at some point in the next few weeks. 
> 
> Enjoy! ^_~

 

 

Homework stopped being a distraction once Sansa had finished it. Reading didn’t help and even singing along to some songs on a streaming app on her phone couldn’t stop her from thinking about dinner that night. Her thoughts kept circling around back to that girl Jon invited to dinner, the one everyone seemed to think was his girlfriend. Girlfriend? Sansa rolled her eyes.

Jon didn’t date. Actually, it wasn’t that he didn’t date, he was too much of a nerd in high school for anyone to want to date. Robb had been the sports lover, playing football in the beginning of the school year then transferring to basketball in the winter to tennis in the spring. He was also on the track team. Jon, on the other hand, seemed to avoid all sports as much as possible. It wasn’t even that he wasn’t good at them, he had great hand-to-eye coordination, he just didn’t have the motivation.

Sansa remembered Jon being apart of clubs, but it wasn’t sports clubs. He was great at math though, having helped both her and Arya with their math homework when Robb was too baffled by it and her father had been too busy to help. Those were probably the few times Sansa truly enjoyed Jon in a brotherly sense, he was always so patient in explaining how to work problems and finding creative ways to figure out the answers. Sansa had only been so good at math herself because of him. It was because of his genius with math that led him to joining the mathletes. She could remember a boring competition that her father insisted they go to for support. Jon had been sixteen at the time with his frizzy hair that he kept short because he didn’t know how to contain it along with his glasses over the bridge of his nose and visible retainer on his top row of teeth. Jon was the epicenter of nerd back then, along with his friends, Samwell Tarly and Pyp. They had unsurprisingly won, but it was a snoresfest for Sansa.

The only sport Jon liked and put any skill towards was ice hockey. He joined a team over the winter in high school when her mother had rudely stated he was getting kind of pudgy. A sense of nostalgia came over her as she remembered his sculpted chest across from her room, the muscle packed and strong. Heat bloomed inside her chest as the memory hit her like a ton of bricks. Sansa gave a shuddering breath, closing her eyes tightly as she remembered every detail. Yes, she remembered that day now, remembered talking on the phone to Jeyne and just being stumped by Jon’s amazing physique.

With a shake of her head, she pushed away the memory as she went back to her musing of Jon as a teen. She had a hard time ignoring the pulse between her thighs though, squeezing them together to put pressure on her center.

If she was remembering right, it was playing competitively in ice hockey where he got the scar over his eye. He had taken a nasty hit from an opposing player where he hit the ice then got a face full of bladed skate for his trouble. Sansa hadn’t been there to witness the incident, she doesn’t really remember where she was, but she remembered him coming home from the hospital with stitches and swollen face. That was one of the major times she noticed the shift between her mother and Jon.

Catelyn Stark mothered him when they got home, forcing him out of school for a whole week with Robb fetching his homework for him while she made sure he was okay. Sansa remembered coming upon her mother brushing back his hair from his forehead as he slept from the pain killers, she was whispering something to him with a pained expression on her face. A face full of regret. Sansa was awestruck.

Her mother was tender towards Jon more regularly after that, never treating him like a son, but like a nephew or Theon though there had been a time or two that she smacked Theon upside the head for his idiocy. Then again, when wasn’t there a time not to smack some sense into that womanizer?

Sansa digresses though, drawing her musing back to the thought at hand. Jon never dated in high school. Robb and Theon were the two that dated around, Jon was mostly left to his own devices as far as she remembered. Yet he went to prom with a date, hadn’t he? There might have been a girl he dated briefly. Either way though, Jon hadn’t really dated, that much she knew.

A knock at her door brought her focus from trying to remember if Jon had dated someone to the present. Her door cracked open to reveal her mother, “Sansa, could you be a dear and help set the table?”

“Sure, mom.”

Upon following her mother downstairs, she found Jon sitting straight up on the couch, it was like a rod was jammed down his back, he was so rigged. The tv was going, but he didn’t seem to pay it much mind from the looks of it. Bran was sitting in his chair beside him while Rickon sat on the other side of the couch, both watching whatever was playing on the screen.

Setting the dinner table wasn’t so hard to do, but now that she had seen Jon she was distracted with thoughts of him once more. It made her nervous to see him like this and she didn’t know why. Sansa was getting anxious jitters up and down her arms and back.

“You just placed three forks to one plate.” She blinked a few times before noticing her mistake as her sister laughed. “What’s got you so distracted?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” Sansa quickly finished setting the table, fixing her mistake before she heard another small chuckle coming from Arya.

"Jon looks so nervous, " Arya commented, smiling broadly as she watched him from the arched doorway between the kitchen and living room. Sansa raised an eyebrow at her sister. Arya had always considered Jon to be her favorite brother (foster aside) so it was strange to see her gleeful at the prospect of watching him be nervous over this dinner. Then again it was quite the event for all of them.

Her sister was right though. Jon looked pale, his hands flexing on top of his knees as he waited in the living room for the doorbell to ring. His eyes were unfocused, and his face voided of any emotion. Sansa had never seen him like this before, so anxious for a girl. It made her teeth grind together while her heart raced, and a burning started in the pit of her gut. What was it about this girl that made him feel this way? She didn’t seem all that special from what she remembered.

This was starting to become rather bothersome.

The doorbell rang loudly causing all of them to jump while Jon tripped to his feet then moved for the door as quickly as possible. Arya glanced back at her with raised eyebrows and dancing smile on her lips then followed through the living room after him. Sansa went back and forth about if she should join before deciding to stand in the living room. She could hear talking as they emerged from the entryway, she could make out Arya and Jon’s voices along with another feminine voice though it was thick sounding, thicker than Arya’s and distinctively northern yet further North than they were currently located, in Winterfell.

Sansa wasn’t sure what she truly expected when her eyes feel upon this girl Jon was so nervous about, this Ygritte from the party. She wasn’t shocked to see her red hair or her shorter stature, but she wasn’t what she expected for Jon either. She had light greyish blue eyes, but there was something strange about her face. It only took her a moment to realize that her eyes were a bit far apart from each other. Her face was round which made her look sorta awkward with a puggish nose that seemed to emphasize her wide spread eyes and when she smiled Sansa couldn’t help the slight cringe at her crooked teeth.

All-in-all, Ygritte was not what she expected, especially her voice.

“This is Sansa, my other foster sister,” Jon introduced quickly as they approached her. Sansa recovered from her cringe to smile politely.

“Hello,” she greeted, reaching her hand forward for a handshake. She received Ygritte’s small hand though it did not lack in strength. For a second, Sansa thought the other woman was trying to arm wrestle her like Rickon enjoyed forcing her to play rather than amicably shake hands in greeting.

“Nice to meet-cha,” Ygritte greeted back, her voice definitely was a thick northern accent with a raspy edge at the end of her words.

Definitely not what she pictured.

Jon pulled Ygritte over to Bran and Rickon while Sansa waved her sore hand. She gripped her like a brute. Arya leaned over towards her, “She was testing your hand strength.”

“Why?” Sansa asked cluelessly, whatever could she need that knowledge for. Arya shrugged.

“Dunno, but I squeezed back extra hard and she smiled at me for it.”

So very not what she expected for Jon.

Once Ygritte was introduced to everyone including her mother, they sat in the living room for the time being as they waited for their father to get home from work. Eddard Stark worked for an advertisement firm as partners with his best friend, Robert Baratheon and Jon Arryn. The same Robert Baratheon whom was the father of Joffrey Baratheon. Sansa had never realized the connection until a few years back when Robb mentioned it.

“Why did father never mention it? Or bring Robert and his family over for dinner?” Sansa remembered asking Robb in shock and fascination, this was the beginning years of her crush on Joffrey.

Robb merely shrugged his shoulders, commenting, “They’re rich snobs.”

It was ironic that Robb thought that when the few times they had met their father’s best friend, he was anything but snobby. She learned later that it was his estranged wife, Cersei Lannister that kept her children from interacting with them. Sansa felt there was always an opportunity missed because of it while Robb thought good-riddance.

“So how did you meet Jon, Ygritte?” Catelyn asked politely, sitting in father’s big arm chair. Sansa opted to stand, crossing her arms behind her back as she leaned against the wall to appear relaxed though she felt anything but.

“I was his student orientation advisor,” Ygritte responded cheekily while glancing at Jon. “It was a small group and we spent the whole day together as I led the tour then we got coffee later at my insistences.” Clearly it had to be her pushing. Sansa couldn’t see Jon being so smooth otherwise.

“Oh, at the college? What are you studying?” her mother questioned on. Sansa couldn’t say she wasn’t curious to hear what Ygritte was studying, something abnormal for a woman, she thought, maybe carpentry, or auto-engineering. Something that worked with your hands, that seemed like something a woman like Ygritte would be interested in.

“Wildlife biology, I’d like ta work wit’ animals,” Ygritte stated brightly.

“You want to be a zoo keeper?” Sansa blurted sarcastically, drawing everyone’s attention upon her. She felt her face start to redden from her interruption. Glancing between everyone she found Jon frowning at her disapprovingly. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from retorting a ‘what’ to him.

“Not exactly,” she replied slowly, “I want ta study endangered species an’ ecosystems.”

“Actually, she wants to go out to Esso to the wildlife preservation there,” Jon joined in, gaining another grin from her.

“That sounds so cool!” Arya jumped in from Jon’s other side.

“Will you get to have a pet lion?” Rickon asked with wide eyes. Ygritte laughed along with everyone else though Sansa did not join in. That burning sensation in her gut heated up even more.

“No, but I will interact wit’ them an’ study them.” Rickon looked put-off by Ygritte’s answer.

“That’s very interesting considering Jon wants to be a ranger at the wall,” her mother piped up, smiling briefly at Jon. He flushed red at the attention, drawing his eyes downward.

Their uncle Benjen worked as a ranger at the wall further up North. It was a hard life up there, what with the ice storms, constant cold and endless snow while maintaining the thousand-foot wall that was built by settlers of the First men thousands of years ago. It was considered an official landmark of the North, one of the seven world wonders. It wasn’t only maintaining of the wall that her uncle did. He also ventured out with other rangers to study the strange environment beyond the wall where very little survived, but what did was what kept the wall in business, so to speak. Ever since Jon had first met their uncle upon first living with them he had talked nothing but wanting to work at the wall and study the strange animals and plant life on the other side.

It figured though that Jon would cross paths with Ygritte even if she wasn’t his orientation advisor considering he was going for a degree in ecology which was similar to what she was doing, an encompass of her specialized area.

Sansa didn’t know why, but she felt despondent as she thought about what she wanted to do once she was out of high school. Honestly, she hadn’t much thought of anything beyond marrying Joffrey Baratheon. She knew she had time, but the thought that Ygritte seemed settled in what she was doing while she wasn’t, bothered her greatly. It felt like she was pitting herself against the other woman in a competition, but for what? Jon’s attention?

Sansa shook her head, that couldn’t possibly be it.

“Yeah, who knows, maybe Jon will join me in Essos,” Ygritte joked, leaning closer to Jon to playfully bump his shoulder with her own though it didn’t escape Sansa’s sight that she placed her hand by his thigh, touching him there.

Strangely that bothered her as well.

The front door opening announced the entrance of Ned Stark. Her mother jumped up to greet their father before introductions were made once more. Sansa stood quietly by, listening as her father was filled in along with Robb coming back from taking the dogs out on a walk, only he and Jon were strong enough to handle all of them at once. The more she watched the way everyone interacted with Ygritte, the more that burning in her gut enflamed becoming bigger and hotter than before.

“Tell us a bit more about yourself, Ygritte?” her father inquired as he came to sit in his chair as her mother vacated it to check on dinner in the kitchen. Ygritte seemed to flourish underneath their attention, smiling broadly and talking animatedly as she talked about growing up near the wall and the moving around she had with foster families, much like Jon.

They were so different yet similar, complimenting each other in so many different ways. Sansa found she didn’t like that, she didn’t like Ygritte at all. She was trying too hard to impress, talking like she was smarter than Sansa thought Ygritte was and touching Jon inappropriately, and yet everyone seemed so taken with her.

“I like being physically active,” Ygritte stated, “ice hockey is my favorite sport.” Her eyes towards Jon’s to smile impishly at him.

Before Sansa could stop herself, she said, “Oh that’s funny, Jon hates sports; particularly hockey.” Once more her face flushed as her family and Jon looked at her like she was crazy.

“I don’t hate all sports plus I love ice hockey,” Jon countered with a confused expression on his face as he stared at her, trying to figure her out.

“If I remember correctly you use to hide during gym class,” Robb commented offhand, glancing away when Jon turned to glare at him.

“I remember getting calls from your teacher for that,” her mother added as an afterthought from the kitchen.

Jon frowned deeply at them all, slouching on the couch as he crossed his arms. Sansa could tell he was getting embarrassed by their comments and she felt a tad sorry that she brought it up.

“The principal had called too. I had to talk him into substituting that class for an advance math class, what was it, Jon? Advance Calculus?” her father questioned briefly before nodding, “He was on a mathlete team at one point, they won tons of competitions.”

“You’re a math nerd!” Ygritte asked laughingly, brushing her hand over his knee when he frowned even more.

Sansa added abruptly, “Very big nerd. He’s only just started wearing contacts.” What was wrong with her? Why was she out to upset him? Jon’s jaw slightly dropped as he stared at her in disbelief before full-on glaring at her. Sansa produced a smirk in response, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why she was doing this.

“Well I think that’s cute, I can’t wait to see you in glasses,” Ygritte mumbled softly as she leaned into his side, whispering something else in his ear that eased his glare on Sansa.

It was at that moment that her mother called for dinner. During the whole affair Sansa made quips about Jon’s nerdy past whenever she had the chance, causing further embarrassment on Jon’s end. It was to the point that even Robb and Arya were giving her looks, but she couldn’t stop. The more she spoke, the more upset Jon became and the more that Ygritte seemed to endure towards him.

It was a vicious cycle because that just made her want to continue even more. Every touch, every smile, every whisper she exchanged with Jon ate away at Sansa. She barely tasted their dinner, roasted chicken, mashed potatoes with corn and rice. She barely ate as it was, leaving much of her dinner untouched because the burning in her gut kept her appetite at bay.

Sansa wondered if she was punishing him for bringing Ygritte, the woman he ran away to. Punishing him for some transgression that she knew the reason for, but then that didn’t seem to make sense to her. She had made her peace with the actions they took that night at the party, but it seemed like Ygritte brought up those feelings all over again, forcing her to confront them again but from a different angle.

An angle she didn’t much like to see from.

Sensing the tense atmosphere, Robb offered after dinner, “Why don’t we watch a movie before you go, Ygritte?”

“Yeah!” Arya and Rickon yelled out as Ygritte nodded.

“I’ve got a paper to finish,” Bran said sadly as he pulled away from the table, mumbling a ‘thank you’ to her mother for dinner.

“Sansa?” Robb questioned with an arched brow, though it was not in an unfriendly way, it seemed to portray his bewilderment of the whole dinner with her attitude, asking if she wanted to join as long as she behaved.

Sansa glanced down at her barely touched food, deliberating if she should join them or not. She had been less than nice, at least towards Jon, and Ygritte seemed to be the main reason why she was reacting in such a way towards him, but she also didn’t want to leave him alone in her presence without her.

In the end, she nodded silently promising to better behave herself. There really wasn’t much that she could do when they watched a movie since they would all be silent for it. Robb gave her nod as though accepting her silent agreement to be good before asking Ygritte what she would like to watch. Seeing how similar she was to Jon, it really shouldn’t surprise her what genre the other red head would choose.

“I hate horror,” Sansa grumbled as they walked to the basement of the house where the entertainment room was with the gaming consoles and larger screen tv.

At one-point Robb or was it Jon, was going to move down there during their teens, but after the snowstorm a few years back the central heating had stopped working down there. Even during the summer, it was very cool, but when it was cold out it required blankets and jackets during the long winter months. Since they were just on the edge of spring, towards summer it was cold down there.

“You don’t have to stay,” Arya stated as she took a blanket from Robb to wrap up in.

Sansa chose to ignore her instead of retorting back, it would only cause more trouble in the long run. She took a brown, soften wool blanket from Robb then sat upon the large, old couch they kept down there, sitting with the armrest to her right to lean against. Rickon grabbed his favorite blanket with some action cartoon on it before diving headfirst onto the loveseat, laying out as he got settled. Robb was quick to yell at him, arguing that Jon and Ygritte should sit there. Sansa bit her tongue to keep from saying anything while trying her best to ignore the burning in her gut.

Ygritte shrugged her little brother’s actions off, stating she’d rather sit on the ground with Jon. They had a nice shag carpet placed in front of the couch that was comfort to sit on. Arya seated herself in the middle, gathering pillows on either side of her to cuddle up to while Robb took the other end. With Arya’s feet tucked up under her, Ygritte and Jon leaned back against the couch, placing them near Sansa’s legs. She couldn’t help but glance at Jon with his shoulder almost touching her knee.

Once the movie was decided and started, Sansa immediately felt anxiety on top of the gut burning. She hates horror movies, hates the idea of running away from crazy killers in masks or monsters from hell. She always got nightmares after being forced to watch one with her siblings. Usually she would cuddle up to Robb and bury her face into his chest when it got to be too scary for her, but that wouldn’t be the case tonight. During the buildup of the movie she would glance between the large screen to Ygritte cuddled up to Jon with her head on his shoulder.

That action only made her hands close tightly into fists. She couldn’t tell if Jon was holding her hand underneath the blanket or not, but she wouldn’t put it past them too. What was wrong with her, honestly? Why was she so interested in what they did with each other? Jon was just her foster brother, barely that for as much as she considers him not her brother, so why was she so agitated by this whole situation? There were so many questions swirling around her brain, tearing her between watching the movie that gave her goosebumps and watching Jon with Ygritte.

Sansa looked up just as a butchered body swung out at the woman on screen resulting in a hysterical scream that startled her. Her knee bumped into Jon’s shoulder as she jumped. Sansa noticed him glancing back at her, but she was too consumed by the horror happening on screen as she wrapped her blanket tighter around her. Arya snorted loudly, drawing her attention to see her little sister smirking at her with raised eyebrows before turning back to the screen. Sansa pursed her lips together, she could make it through this awful movie. If she didn’t then Arya would tease her about it endlessly for weeks afterwards.

Yet another horrible moment happened where the killer jumped out of hiding and started chasing the poor woman down the hall with this horrific laughter that sent chills down Sansa’s back. She bumped Jon’s shoulder again as a whimper escaped her lips. Sansa quickly tugged up her blanket to cover her mouth while seriously contemplating if the ribbing was worth leaving now. Suddenly she jumped with a barely contained scream when something, a hand, wrapped around her ankle.

Sansa glanced away from the screen to peer down her legs, she couldn’t see the hand, but she could see Jon’s arm sticking out from the blanket he shared with Ygritte. Slowly she felt his hand move up her ankle to her calf, giving a soft squeeze of reassurance. That day had been one of the warmer ones, so Sansa had opted to wear shorts and now she could feel his callused, rough hand warming her calf, soothing her anxiety with soft swipes of his thumb up and down her skin. A shiver ran down her spine as Sansa focused on Jon’s touch rather than what was happening in the movie.

Throughout the rest of the film, Jon kept a firm hold on her calf, giving light squeezes during scary moments and soothing her with brushes and caresses of his fingers. It made enduring the movie so much better, so much easier than ever before. Even when she cuddled up to Robb it had never been as nice as Jon’s touch, his comforting, reassuring touch.

She was mildly disappointed when the credits rolled at the end and he removed his hand from her calf, leaving a residue of his lingering heat and touch.  

“I’m surprised you stayed throughout the whole movie,” Arya remarked astonished as everyone started to gather their blankets.

“It wasn’t that scary,” Sansa lied, shrugging her left shoulder as she started to fold her blanket up.

“Oh, come on, Sansa, you’re a scaredy-cat when it comes to horror movies!” her sister accused with a roll of her eyes, clearly not buying what she was selling.

“Am not!” she fired back.

“So, you don’t recall that time Jon scared you before the basement was refurbished?” Robb questioned slyly.

“Robb!”

“What happened? What did ya do?” Ygritte asked gleefully, glancing between Robb and Jon.

“I covered myself in flour while Robb lured Arya, Sansa, and Bran downstairs. I made a bunch of noises then jumped out at them,” Jon divulged, briefly glancing at Sansa as she crossed her arms over her chest. She could remember that day well. It had been very dark, not long after that horrible snowstorm where the power was out for two weeks and they lived off the backup generator.

Robb had gotten father to tell a scary story earlier too, to make matters worse then Robb dragged them downstairs to find an old board game to play with only a flashlight that constantly flickered because it was old. It was the perfect set up. Jon made noises then jumped out at them so abruptly. Sansa had never screamed so loudly in her life, she thought she was about to perspire.

“That’s terribly awesome!” Ygritte declared, pleased as punch much to Sansa’s distaste.

“I’ll never forget Sansa’s face! She screamed so loudly, before anyone could stop her she was already up the stairs!” Arya continued as fits of laughter erupted from her mouth. Robb and Rickon joined in as Ygritte snickered into her hand, even Jon was chuckling softly as they reminisced that day.

“It’s not that funny!” Sansa yelled out, jumping to her feet in a fit of anger, gripping her blanket tightly as she glared at all of them.

“Come on, Sans, you have to admit it was pretty funny,” Robb said as he reigned in his laughter.

“I didn’t think it was funny then nor do I think it’s funny now, Robb!”

“Lighten up, princess.” Arya rolled her eyes.

“It’s just a joke, Sansa,” Rickon added.

“Well if we’re all done at having a good laugh at my expense then I am going to bed!” Sansa yelled out as her eyes started to water. She hated when others laughed at her, didn’t matter what it was for. It brought back awful memories of being made a fool in school and everyone laughing at her while calling her stupid.

“Sansa don’t go!” Rickon called out as she dropped her blanket on the couch and headed for the stairs.

“Yeah, Sans!” Robb echoed, but she ignored them as she reached the first step.

“Let her go, not like anyone wants her here,” Arya commented meanly.

“Arya!”

Sansa couldn’t stop from stomping up the steps as she tried to keep her tears at bay. Arya was right, it wasn’t like they wanted her there anyways. She was lucky that the basement stairs were on the other side of the wall of the upstairs, so she could avoid her parents seeing her watery eyes and red face. She raced up the stairs to avoid any encounters though.

Entering her bedroom, she allowed her tears to fall as she got ready for bed. It wasn’t worth it, being made fun of just because she didn’t like scary things and for what? To keep an eye on Ygritte, for whatever reason that may be. Sansa wiped harshly at her wet cheeks, changing into some silky shorts and tank top before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She brushed her teeth viciously as she continued to rant in her head.

What did it matter anyway? So what if Jon started dating Ygritte? It was none of her business either way and she shouldn’t let it bother her either. Yet, for reasons unknown, it did bother her. It bothered her so greatly. Sansa finished brushing her teeth then cleaned her face off. It bothered her so much that she had to keep an eye on them, on Jon, but why?

Just as she was about to settle for bed, Sansa heard a knock at her door. Frowning, she got out of bed, slowly walking to the door just as another deep knock echoed from the wood. If it was Arya, then she was going to slam the door in her rotten face.

“What do you want?” Sansa asked as she took in Jon standing on the other side. He stood there with his solemn face, averting his eyes for a second then lifting them until they connected gazes.

“I’m sorry, Sansa,” Jon said softly.

“No, you’re not,” she countered, gripping the door tightly as she contemplated if she should just slam the door in his face or not.

“We shouldn’t have laughed at you especially when you were getting upset,” he continued, ignoring her accusation.

“I wasn’t getting upset!” Jon arched a brow at her. “Alright, maybe I was getting a little bit upset,” Sansa amended with a sigh. She then eyed him for a moment longer before turning away from her door, leaving it open for him.

“Where’s Ygritte?” she asked, looking over her shoulder to see Jon shuffle into her room with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slightly hunched over. Her door slowly clicked shut. For a moment she realized this was the first time Jon had ever been in her room without another one of her siblings with him, it was especially the first time he stood alone with her with the door shut.

“She went home, it was getting late,” Jon answered, shrugging.

“That’s a pity,” she muttered sarcastically, feeling somewhat better now that Ygritte was gone, like the tension that had been deeply settled into her muscles and bone seethed away.

“What is your problem with her?” Sansa turned fully around to see Jon frowning deeply at her, his brow wrinkled in confusion as he pulled his hands out of his pockets.

She gave a wave of her hand in the air as though waving his accusing words away from her, “I don’t have a problem with her.”

“Really? So, embarrassing me and making Ygritte uncomfortable is not having a problem with her?” Jon alleged heatedly, gesturing his hand behind him to indicate dinner while stepping forward.

Sansa shrugged, glancing away as she stated, “I’m just making sure she’s good enough for you.”

Jon snorted with a shake of his head as though he could hardly believe her answer. He looked her over, taking in her pjs while wiping his hand over his mouth in though, “Oh? And what is it about her that makes Ygritte not good enough for me, hmm?” He sounded vaguely amused by the situation while Sansa felt stupid for saying that, why had she said that?

“She’s not your type.”

“Really? So, what is my type?” Jon enquired, arms crossing over his chest as an amused smile came to his lips. Her attention was drawn to his full lips, producing a phantom remembrance of those full lips pressing against hers. They had been soft, slightly rough but that only made everything better, tantalizing and exhilarating.

Swallowing, she floundered for something to say, “Pretty, first of all.”

“Sansa…” Jon looked thoroughly unimpressed and seemingly disappointed in her.

“She’s too obnoxious and arrogant,” Sansa added as she tried to ignore that look he was giving her. “I don’t see what you see in her, really. She seems like a knock-off version of me.”

Jon shook his head with a deep-seated sigh.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you’re jealous of her.” Sansa’s jaw dropped at his comment, her face reddening as she glared at him. Where the hell did he get that from?! In what way had she reacted as though she was jealous?!

“I am not! Why would I be jealous of-of her?!” Sansa flung her arm outward, shaking her head in disbelief, mumbling, “preposterous.” Where did he get off accusing her of jealousy? Of little miss manly voice, brute hands and alien eyes, her jealous of that?! Jon must be delusional.

“Well that’s the question isn’t it,” Jon stated, looking at Sansa with a meaningful expression, a seemingly knowing look.

A sense of embarrassment came over her, purging all color from her face except for the redness that lingered and spread. She was sure to look like a pomegranate now. Jon just stared at her though, gazing into her eyes like he was trying to understand further, like he was reading exactly what she was feeling and understanding it better than she could. Slowly horror drained the redness from her cheeks as she thought back to the burning in her gut and feeling of his hand upon her calf.

“Get out of my room, Jon!” Sansa suddenly insisted, loudly.

“Sansa-Get out of my ROOM !!” she yelled out louder, charging towards him to shove him along towards her door. She needed him to get out of her room, she needed him to get out of her space, so she could breath properly.

Sansa didn’t want to think about anything that happened that day, especially anything that involved him. Jon stumbled at her shoving at first, but quickly went along with her pushing until she had him out her bedroom door. He turned back, his mouth opened to speak but Sansa quickly slammed the door in his face, relishing the feeling of finality it brought her.

Slowly she breathed in and out, pushing away everything and anything she could. What happens at the party, stays at the party, she repeated in her head as she moved to settle into her bed.

“Me, jealous of her? He wishes…” Sansa grumbled with a roll of her eyes before turning her light off.

She wasn’t jealous of Ygritte. Hell, her best friend, Jeyne wouldn’t even be jealous of Ygritte. There was nothing that that woman had that Sansa wanted. Sure, she was more accomplished, but she was also older than her, so of course she would be further along in her journey towards a career. She was still annoying and obnoxious. Seriously, there was not one thing Ygritte had that Sansa would ever, ever want…

…then why did Jon’s face appear in her minds eye when she thought of what exactly Ygritte had that could ever interest Sansa…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Sansa, oh you sweet baby you, denial is not only a river in Egypt. So Jon has kind of figured her out while she's slowly piecing her feelings together. Also I warned ya about immature Sansa appearing in his chapter. Not as bad as it could have been though. 
> 
> And as requested/asked, chapter 4 is going to be a Jon chapter! It'll dive into his feelings and the living situation along with giving context to his previous fostering experiences before the Starks and such. This story is primarily from Sansa's POV, but I might throw in another Jon chapter or two, depending on how I feel. I can say that right now, chapter 4 is the only scheduled Jon chapter, but keep them fingers crossed!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this update! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I truly appreciate the support! Y'all are the best!! ^_~


	4. Jon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon Chapter: Jon's thoughts about the situation between him and Sansa, including more background context for the story!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta admit, I'm not totally happy with this chapter. Mind you, I wrote it in one sitting, but I feel the flow is a little off... So my procedure for writing is to write it, spell check then paste into AO3, preview the chapter where I actually read through it, going back to the original document to change spelling corrects that Word does not find and once I do that I repaste and post. Sometimes during that process I get inspiration and add more paragraphs, sometimes fixing what I hated and whatnot. So if ya ever wondered, that's what I do! So I am hoping that I will fix what I feel is wrong with this chapter during that editing process (prewriting this note before hand).
> 
> So without further ado, the awaited Jon chapter!! ^_~

 

 

Jon stared at the door, the echo of Sansa slamming it shut in his face continued in his ears before he sighed and turned away to head to his room. He shut his door much more gently than she had before flopping onto his bed with his arms crossed behind his head. His mind was spinning from such an eventful evening, from Ygritte coming over for dinner and the issues with Sansa. Jon groaned deeply, clenching his eyes shut.

At first, he hadn’t known what her problem was. The way she suddenly burst out with mean comments and jabs at his expense annoyed him and bothered him on a deeper level. It wasn’t like her to act so cruel and mean, out of everyone Sansa was always the courteous one. She always went out of her way to make others feel at home and welcomed, so he could hardly resolve as to why she was acting this way. Ygritte wasn’t a beauty queen, but she was still pretty and funny and stubborn. Jon liked her a lot and he still couldn’t wrap his mind around why she would be interested in him. She was older, much worldlier than himself and so strong. After the tour, she invited him for coffee and discussed other aspects of the school, but instead they bonded over being orphans.

Ygritte never got adopted, or even fostered. She grew up in the system and as she stated, somehow made it out with all ten fingers and toes. Sometimes she was harsh though, even a bit judgmental if her annoyance at the party and tonight had said anything to him.

_“Your foster sister is such a brat; can’t she see you’re looking out for her? She’s going to make a stupid mistake otherwise.”_

_“You need to talk to Sansa, I don’t like how she treated me and I don’t like how she looks at you. Doesn’t she have enough in life, pretty little snob.”_

_“How does she look at me, Ygritte?”_

_“Like you’re hers…”_

Jon sighed deeply through his nose. That night at the party was a damn mistake, he was drunk and smitten with Ygritte and Sansa was drunk and high. Yet that was a lie, wasn’t it? Being inebriated wasn’t the only thing that clouded his mind if he wanted to be honest and really, he didn’t. Sansa had looked so beautiful that night, not that she didn’t almost always look beautiful, always put together, always eye catching. Jon could still remember the first time he met Sansa.

Eddard Stark and Benjen Stark were the first two he ever met. By that point he had already gone through five other foster families, each worse than the last and the last social services had to take him because they were abusing him. Jon hadn’t taken much stock in the interactions he had with Ned and Benjen, they seemed nice and he enjoyed talking to them. The best was that they didn’t try touching him.

A lot of people thought he was related to them, after each visit his handler would note that he could practically be one of their sons. Had Jon been told that three foster families ago then he would have been excited, would have fantasied one of them coming out and saying he was their son and take him home. Instead Jon just shrugged his skinny shoulders and went back to reading his comic book.

The last visit was when he met Catelyn Stark. His first thoughts of her was she was stern and cold. Catelyn eyed Jon over, whispered quick words to Ned then she left abruptly. At first Jon thought that was it, but then Ned was signing the paperwork to foster him. It seemed rather surreal considering Ned’s wife’s reaction towards Jon, but before he knew it he was getting into a nice, silver car with what little belongings he owned, and they were off.

By this point, Jon knew about Ned’s other children who were waiting to meet him back at their home. _Your home as well, Jon._ He was nervous though. The last family that had more than one child seemingly neglected him and that wouldn’t have been so bad had he not been five at the time and suffered a terrible cough that turned into bronchitis because of their smoking habits, both parents and teenage kids. That became an irony of its own when he ended up taking up the habit years later at fifteen. Jon had eased his worry though, knowing that the oldest was only a few months younger than himself at ten years old.

It was almost like sixth times the charm for him.

The moment he stepped out of the car he was introduced to his new foster siblings. Robb smiled so brightly at him, eyes wide and before Jon could say hello he was engulfed in a huge hug with rambunctious talks of being brothers and so much more. Arya at six years old wasn’t shy around strangers and had joined in her older brother’s hug, telling Jon how excited she was to have someone that looked like her be her brother. Even little Bran at four had approached him with a hug and smile.

Everyone but Sansa and Rickon though no one expected the five-month-old baby to come and hug him. When his new siblings pulled back and he was formally introduced to Sansa was when he first took her in. She was seven years old, bright red hair in two braids over her shoulders with big blue eyes and freckles over her nose and cheeks. Unlike her siblings, Sansa offered her hand in greeting than a hug, a reservation in her eyes that Jon understood more than he cared too. Not everyone was good with change and not all change was good, Sansa was the former and Jon usually dealt with the latter.

For at least a month Jon hadn’t bothered to remember their names all that well, that was usually the ending mark of his fostering. Catelyn was still cold with him, polite, but cold and Jon figured it was a matter of time before she told Ned to send him back. The house was full enough with five children of their own, did they really need a sixth foster child as well?

Jon was proven wrong though, eventually having to know the names of his foster family as the first month turned into a second then a third and then a fourth. Jon celebrated his eleventh birthday in the Stark home, an actual party with cake and presents and friends he had made in his new school along with his foster siblings. It was then and only then that Jon finally-finally relaxed with the idea that this might be his home for good, that he wasn’t going to get sent back to the orphanage and another foster family. He finally felt happy…

The years went by, he exceled in school especially in math while Robb exceled in sports. A lot of things changed as they aged, but one of the things that didn’t was Sansa’s beauty. The older she got, the more beautiful she became, at least in his eyes. She was sweet and courteous though sometimes distant with him. Jon figured Sansa really just didn’t know how to categorize him in her life as they aged, and he couldn’t fault her for that, but it did hurt when she called him ‘the foster kid’ when explaining him to someone. Regardless, as the years went by Jon noticed that he liked Sansa way more than he really should.

It grew to be a full-blown crush when she grudgingly asked him for help with her math homework. Jon had been fifteen and Sansa was twelve, she was struggling with her math homework in the kitchen, begging Robb for help.

“Please Robb! I need to get a good grade in this class!” Sansa explained dramatically, tugging on her older brother’s hand as he ignored her to drink out of his water bottle.

“You’re already passing with a ‘B’, Sans,” Robb declared as he pulled his hand out of her grip, “and I’m shit at math, ask Jon.” Jon had just entered the kitchen to hear their commotion and to see Sansa as she glared at her brother then turned her eyes onto him.

“I could help you, that is if you want me too. I don’t have anything else going on and-Sit down, Jon.” He flushed at his babbling then sat down next to her chair as Sansa reseated herself.

Sansa flipped through her math book then stopped abruptly and turned to him, directing her big blue eyes onto his being. “Please will you help me with my math homework, Jon.”

“Of course, Sansa,” Jon replied quickly, averting his eyes before rubbing them underneath his glasses.

From there he helped her gain an ‘A’ in math then Arya was bugging him for help as well, though really, she was hoping he’d just do it for her, or give her the answers without her trying. His little sister found that wasn’t the case though. It was during these times that Jon really got to know Sansa than what was on the surface. Sansa was a chatterbox, so when they sat down to work on her math she would babble on and on about other things that were bothering her before she could focus on her work.

Jon learned more about her during his tutoring sessions than he had in the five years he lived in the Stark house and when she came home with her report card stating she had an ‘A’ in math, Sansa had thrown her arms around his neck in her excitement, thanking him loudly in his ear. That had been the first and last time she hugged him like that, but that hadn’t ended his helping hand in math, nor her endless chatter when doing so.

Actually, Sansa had been one of the prime reasons he took up ice hockey. Playing video games on his computer in his room and eating junk food didn’t help his physique much, and the fact that Jon just wasn’t into the normal sports like Robb whom made a great linebacker for the football team in their school rubbed at him. Even Arya found enjoyment in her sport activities in soccer, but Jon just didn’t find any of them eye catching enough. Then Catelyn had made a mean comment about him getting pudgy, so Jon tried and failed at any of the sports he thought of.

Too aggressive, not fast enough, too fast, bad eye-hand coordination, and so on and so forth. It wasn’t until Sam, his best friend and mathletes teammate mentioned ice hockey to him. Sam was a goalie for a youth team down at the old recreational center, adding that they could always use more people considering how violent the game could get. Pyp stated he’d try out if Jon did.

Jon had been looking over the sport on the computer in Ned’s office upstairs, it was Bran’s old bedroom that was converted into an office/computer room for the kids once Bran was relocated downstairs in the new addition. Sansa had entered the room, clearly aiming to use the computer though he occupied it. Jon hadn’t noticed her until she was looking over his shoulder.

“Thinking of playing ice hockey?” Sansa asked conversationally, causing Jon to jump since he had not known she was there. He chewed on the inside of his cheek before shrugging.

“Sam is a goalie for a local youth team, said I might like it…” Jon glanced back at the pictures. It looked fun, but brutal. Google search brought up many pictures including the bloody ones. Sansa glanced back at the screen then back to Jon.

“You’ll have to lose the glasses, get contacts,” she stated thoughtfully, moving to seat herself on the small two-seater. Jon frowned, he hadn’t thought of that, maybe that was why he was horrible at sports? His glasses did get fogged up and tended to get in the way.

“I guess so…”

“Have you ever ice skated, Jon?” Sansa asked next, crossing her legs smoothly while brushing her pretty pink shirt over her knees. He tried not to stare, turning back to the screen in thought.

“No.”

“It’s like rollerblading, but on ice and a lot slipperier.” He nodded absentmindedly, skimming through more pictures, wondering if he could actually do this. Surely if Sam could handle the sport than he could, but then he was horrendous with basketball and hated playing football with a passion. “I think you’d make a great hockey player, Jon.”

They both flinched when Jon accidently sent the wireless mouse skating off the desk in his shock of her words. He quickly picked it up then turned to her with wide eyes, “You really think so?”

“Sure, Jeyne’s boyfriend has played it before and there’s a lot of strategy like math which you’re amazing at,” Sansa said brightly then shrugged her shoulders, adding, “I don’t see why you wouldn’t be good at hockey.”

Jon stared at her for a good moment causing her to avert her eyes from the intensity of his stare. He glanced back at the pictures before nodding then Jon stood, exiting out of the web quickly. “Thanks, Sansa.”

She merely smiled with a nod before taking over the computer as he quickly texted Sam about when the try-outs were. The fact that Sansa thought he could do it only fueled his belief in himself.

Jon learned quickly though that Sansa had been right about ice skating, it wasn’t easy to learn, and it was slippery. Jon grew to love the game though, practicing almost every day after school with Sam and Pyp where he met Grenn and Edd.

The more he played, the better he got and before Jon knew it he had built muscle underneath his skin and managed the body fat that had once been there. Looking in the mirror and seeing the slowly defining muscles was amazing, even more so to see it on his body rather than Robb’s. His lanky, skinny body thicken nicely and erased the pudge that was starting to form. If the attention he was slowly getting from girls in school wasn’t assuring him enough then it was the day he caught his foster sister, Sansa Stark checking him out that solidified it for him.

He had just gotten home from practice, wanting nothing more than to peel off his clothes and hit the shower again. It was only October, but it was still hot outside and though he showered at the center, he needed another one after riding in Grenn’s car that had no AC and two of his windows didn’t roll down at all. Jon hadn’t thought about closing his door, aiming to be as quick as possible, he flung off his shirt before looking for another. Gasping breath caught his attention and he turned to see Sansa staring at his body, her face red and her mouth gaped open. Blood had rushed not only to his ears, but also to his groin upon seeing her reaction, so he slammed his bedroom door to keep her from noticing his growing predicament.

Jon had a hard time looking Sansa in the face after that. Not because she had looked at him the way she did, but for the way his body reacted from that look. He felt dirty, a pervert for reacting in such a sexual way towards a girl who was his foster sister and fourteen years of age, at that. He found Sansa seemed to feel the same, avoiding him half as much as he avoided her until everyone started pointing out their weirdness individually. Jon counted his lucky stars that no one seemed to catch on that both of their weirdness was because of each other. Eventually though time whittled away the embarrassment and soon enough Sansa was coming to him for math help with algebra though that didn’t stop any more physical reactions on his end; unfortunately.

Then came the fateful day of his accident on the ice.

It was December and it was only the third game of the season for his team, The Crows. They had won the first two almost effortlessly and riding high. Ned was out in the stands with Arya, Bran and Rickon. Robb was elsewhere, he couldn’t quite remember where. Sansa hadn’t wanted to come (he tried to not let that bother him) and Catelyn was working late. Aside from that Jon was feeling great, they were already scoring out of the gate, but that was when tragedy struck.

Jon had the puck and was leading the charge towards the other team’s goalie, he was riding fast. Dodging offending sticks to make a winning goal when one of his teammates was knocked into him from the opposing team. Jon had gotten sideswiped into the wall, losing the puck and his balance. Everything happened so fast and he hardly remembered it at all. Arya filled him in later that he struck his head on the ice, his helmet protecting him until the opposing player of the other team lost his balance, sending his bladed skate into Jon’s face.

His vision and consciousness had gone in and out. He remembered flashes really, one of him being put on a gurney, another riding in the ambulance and another that he remembered best of all. Jon opened his one eye to see Catelyn Stark over him, running with the wheeled gurney through the hospital. The same hospital that she worked at. She was a pediatric doctor, but over saw the work done on his face. He had to go into surgery for the crack in his cheek bone from the ice skate’s blade before they could stitch his cheek up then surgery on his eyelid, so he wouldn’t lose his eye and stitching in his eyebrow.

What he remembered most of that whole thing was the watery eyes and utter concern in Catelyn Stark’s face when he saw her over him. She had never looked at him like that, so fearful for his life as she did that day. He didn’t remember the two days he was in the hospital before he was released to the Starks care. He spent much of his time home sleeping with heavy pain killers.

There was one moment that Jon was lucid, a moment that scared him half to death because the first thing he said to her was one word:

“Mom…” Catelyn looked up from where she was sitting on the coffee table. Jon blinked his lone eye, the other was patched over to keep the lid from moving with stitches in it. Once he realized where he was and what he had called her, he immediately froze as fear took him.

“I’m here, Jon, you’re alright,” Catelyn said soothingly, brushing back Jon’s hair as she gazed down at him with sad, concern filled eyes. She didn’t correct him, she seemed to let it slide, so he didn’t mention it.

Catelyn got him some soup and ice water, helped him sit up since he was so groggy with the pain killers. He ate what he could then proceeded to fall asleep against her shoulder, waking only when Robb was helping to lay him back down on the couch. That whole week she took off work to stay with him, something Jon never thought would happen. She had always kept her distance, always watched him almost suspiciously, like he was going to steal their worldly possessions in the night and disappear.

He doesn’t remember much during that time, but it had to be the best of his life when it came to his relationship with Catelyn Stark. It wasn’t an overnight change, but slowly she opened up to him, taking Jon aside for a one-on-one dinner a few weeks later where she explained to him in-depth her feelings about fostering him in the beginning verses where they stood now.

To hear that she truly thought he was some bastard son of Eddard Stark shocked him. He had heard her sister, Lysa drunkenly commenting that to Sansa and Arya at a family Christmas party a few years back, but he hadn’t put much chalk into it because he was so sure Catelyn would believe her husband. Still it was the thorn that kept her from allowing herself to truly care for Jon, no matter the many times Ned stated that he and Jon were not in any shape or form related.

Catelyn explained that when Jon was under she and Ned talked and she finally allowed him to tell her the truth of why he was so adamant on fostering Jon Snow and what he meant to him. Jon felt that maybe Ned should be there for this conversation, but Catelyn insisted that he knew they were having it and she felt they both needed it talked between them to move on for a better relationship together. So, Catelyn told him the truth.

His mother was Lyanna Snow, a childhood friend of Brandon Stark, Eddard Stark and Benjen Stark. She was like an adopted sister of theirs, had lived with the Starks for four years in her childhood while her parents separated then completely forgotten about her. She was seventeen when she moved out without telling them, disappeared without a trace. Ned through his work at the police station eventually find out what happened to her. Wooed at seventeen by then twenty-five-year-old Rhaegar Targaryen, soon to be CEO of his families’ pharmaceutical company. He was already married with two children at the time that Lyanna became pregnant.

Rhaegar wouldn’t leave his wife for her, so Lyanna was left behind, homeless and pregnant. Jon could barely make Catelyn out as tears welled in his eyes. His mother was found halfway into her labor in an alley down in King’s Landing. She was rushed to a hospital where she gave birth to him and died soon after giving his name for the certificate. What Jon hadn’t known was that his grandmother had taken him once contacted, bringing him to Winterfell from King’s Landing, but she too died eight months after. His grandfather’s location was unknown and without any close family left he was put into an orphanage.

Catelyn held his hand as she told him all this, tears coming down her cheeks as they were his. Once Ned had found ten-year-old Jon, he begged and begged Catelyn to allow them to foster him. He mentioned Lyanna and she wouldn’t hear anymore, believing he had a thing with her during her stay with the Starks. It was made worse because he looked so much like Ned, but then Lyanna could have been a trueborn sister of theirs based on looks alone.

“What about…Rhaegar, does he even know I exist?” Jon questioned after wiping away his tears. A burning coal formed in his stomach as he thought about the man that helped give him life. How could he just leave his mother behind like that? Especially when she was pregnant with his child?!

“Ned contacted him before we started fostering you. There is a trust fund in your name from him, to help with college, but…he didn’t seem to care to meet you…” Catelyn gave his hand a tight squeeze. “Once you turn eighteen you can access it, I don’t know how much, but Ned has stated you could easily get as far as your masters with the amount in there.”

“I don’t want his pity money,” Jon choked out, trying to pull his hand back but she refused to release it.

“Jon. Jon look at me.” He turned his head until his dark grey eyes connected with her blue ones. “Don’t be stubborn, this money will help you in the long run, but,” she leaned closer, reaching out to brush his unruly hair from his eyes, “if you don’t want to touch it then that is okay because you have a trust fund through us.”

“What?” Jon mumbled, blinking rapidly as Catelyn smiled softly at him.

“The moment we started fostering you, Ned put up a trust fund to help you as much as possible with your education after high school. It was the one thing I did not mind doing in the beginning,” she stated as she leaned back from him, his hand still locked in hers.

“Why?”

“Because everyone deserves to make a better life for themselves, even if I thought you were the bastard son of my husband’s, you still deserve to make something of yourself.”

They left the restaurant in tears and laughter. Upon getting home, Ned took him aside to give him the information to contact his father if he truly wanted to know him and his half-siblings. Catelyn stood beside Ned as Jon mulled it over before shaking his head and handing him back the envelope. “I don’t need too. I have my family right here.”

Jon only ever told Robb about his mother, but he didn’t tell him about his father. He wanted nothing to do with Rhaegar Targaryen, not his money and definitely not his legacy. He was just fine being Jon Snow. It was easier that way too. The Starks were the only family he needed, that he wanted in the end. No amount of apologies or money would change his mind otherwise…

Jon rubbed at his eyes, it was probably time he took his contacts out, otherwise he’d fall asleep in them again. As he went about getting ready for bed, his mind went back to Sansa and that evening and as always when it went to thoughts about Sansa it inevitably went back to memories of the party.

The way she had looked at him, so angry with flushed cheeks and shiny eyes. Even though he was smoking a cigarette, he could still smell the lemony perfume her mother bought her last Christmas. It combatted his smoke, lingering around them so intoxicatingly. Then he had said those things to her, mildly hoping to ward her from Joffrey fucking Baratheon. Yet somehow, she ensnarled him with her words.

Shit, all he ever thought was with his dick when he looked at her.

Jon swore she wasn’t a virgin, swore that Sansa had told Jeyne she wasn’t and maybe she lied to her best friend. He had done so with Robb at her age to avoid being made fun of. Damn, he wished he had taken her words with a grain of salt, but he couldn’t take back what he did and though he felt like an utter shit for taking her virginity, she seemed to handle it in stride compared to him.

Thinking about it only made him hard and want her again.

Ygritte wanted to get high that night, but not at the Baratheon’s party, offered to drive him home afterwards, so Jon took her up on her offer. He ran away from Sansa with his tail between his legs to Ygritte where they got high and made out before she took him home around three in the morning. Robb seemed to think Jon had sex with Ygritte and he allowed him to think as much, but he hadn’t. He was still shaken by the incident with Sansa to even think about having another go with another girl.

Woman. Ygritte was definitely a woman.

Jon shook his head, itching for a cigarette, but he didn’t want to go outside in order to have one. He looked into the bathroom mirror, assessing his reflection intensely. Time to be honest, he thought, you want Sansa Stark, you have almost always wanted her in some shape or form growing up, but you can’t have her. Jon sighed, bracing his hands around the edges of the sink. He couldn’t have her because she was his foster sister and it was wrong. He couldn’t have her because her family was his family and it was wrong. He couldn’t have her because she was confused and young and it was wrong.

It was wrong, and he knew it and yet…

“I want to be with her, all the same…” Jon mumbled disheartened, dropping his forehead against the mirror.

It wasn’t that he just wanted her for sex, he wanted her because of who she was. Sure, she could be bratty, but she was also sweet when it truly counted, and she knew how to set aside her feelings for the sake of others. Sansa was brightness and smiles, encouraging and wistful. She liked people to think she was perfect because of some self-image issues she has that she had mentioned time and again to him during his tutoring sessions with her. She wasn’t perfect though. Sansa did things at least a hundred times before allowing others to see and believe she got it on the first go around.

It was her way of feeling like she had control in such an uncontrollable world. She will eventually grow out of it, more so when high school ends when she realizes saving face and looking good wasn’t truly worth it. She was young though, Jon amended, too young to be having sex like they had and too young to be with him.

Ygritte was his saving grace, she can help keep him from falling into a hole that had no place to go but down. He could never have Sansa, he will never have Sansa and that was just something he was going to have to deal with.

Or die trying…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I must say I teared up writing the Catelyn and Jon interaction. I know it may seem bizzare for her to not hear Ned out and then never knowing Jon's true parentage for six-seven years, but I mean she's stubborn. I dunno, some of this is written on the fly considering I am still in the process of transforming this story from oneshot to chapter story, which means things aren't completely stable and don't always make sense. And I am sorry about that.
> 
> Anywho, I hope y'all enjoyed this read. Jon does like Ygritte though she will also be his shield for his feelings towards Sansa while she figures hers out for him. Next chapter is a Sansa chapter! Let me know whatcha think! ^_~


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